Xander Week 74 - Stop Carrying Me!
March 25, 2008
Xander decided last week that he no longer wanted to be carried outside - he wanted to walk on his own. If I attempt to carry him, he screams at the top of his lungs from point A to point B, and flops and wiggles, making it nearly impossible to not drop him.
This tactic was very effective in letting us know that he is a “big boy” and can walk on his own. So, we’ve started letting him walk to and from the car, into day care, into the house, into stores, etc. It takes us more than twice as long to get places, but Xander is having fun…
The only draw back is that Xander is so easily distracted, by a mound of snow, by a puddle, by almost anything he sees on the ground, so it’s a challenge to keep him walking in the right direction. Oh, and of course he thinks he’s way too big to actually hold someone’s hand while he’s walking, so that’s a constant struggle in a parking lot - grabbing his hand only to have him yank it back again. Often I just resort to holding onto his hood - at least I know he’s not going to dart in front of a car, and he gets to have his hands back. It’s all about compromise…
Very soon we are planning on converting Xander’s crib to a toddler bed - our boy is getting so big!!
I have an October 2007 baby and so I have enjoyed checking in with where Xander was at when he was my baby’s current age a full year behind your adorable little guy. She just started teething big time and also seems to be sprouting her top teeth first.
I also read about your sleep training efforts with great interest. I also have been told my the doctor to get sweet baby to give up the night feedings using water or whatever methods necessary (she is at the 90th percentile of weight for her age and wears 9 month and 12 month clothing.) We finally got her to drop one of her two night feedings but she isn’t giving up the first one. I was just wondering if Xander still sleeps in bed with you or if you ever found success getting him to sleep in his own crib or bed. Our little one is in her own crib but now with the teething, she is waking up every two hours and its going to kill us.
We really don’t want to bring her into our bed as I heard the pain involved in getting her back into her own bed when she is two (and can cry mommy mommy) will be worse than if we just keep her in her own bed now and suffer through.
Any suggestions or are you planning to just let Xander find his way to his own sleep space at his own pace, which I totally understand (and sometimes think we would all be better off just sleeping better with her in our king size bed with us.)
Hi Seneca - I’m glad you’ve been enjoying the blog! Teething is quite the adventure… If nothing else in our parenting experiences, we’ve been done every change very gradually, and it seems to work for us. The night feeding thing we didn’t force too much. I think if you’ve managed to get from two down to one, relax with that for a bit before you drop down to none. We found that after a while, a few sucks from a bottle at night was enough to get Xander back to sleep, and then sometime after that, we could just put the pacifier back in his mouth, and most of the time that does it now.
Xander is still sleeping in our bed at the moment. We’ve got a king size bed, and he sleeps in the middle. We’ve gotten to the point where I cuddle him to sleep, and then he sleeps on his own (packed with pillows on all sides) in the bed for a few hours before we go to sleep. He’s doing pretty well with this so far - when he wakes up, one of us goes up and he usually falls back asleep pretty quickly.
My plan is to convert our crib to a toddler bed, and then start putting Xander in there. My assumption is that Xander may still wake up once a night, and if we can’t put him back to sleep easily in his bed, then he’ll get into ours. It goes back to the gradual thing - Xander is a happy healthy, and relatively confident kid - I’d rather have him sleep with us for a few more months and make the transition easier on Xander, than listen to my pediatrician who says I should let him cry it out.
I understand your hesitation to bring your daughter into your bed - it is hard to get them back out. But I also sympathize with your exhaustion - my husband and I both work and we value our sleep too much to fight with Xander every night on where he’s going to sleep. We all sleep where we can get as much rest as possible.
Good luck - and I’ll be interested to hear how things work out with you and your daughter!