I read your blog and have responded in the past. Actually, we named our son Alexander and call him Xander as well! Anyway, my wife and I watch TV. All the time. We both grew up in households where if the TV was not on, even as background noise, something was amiss. As well, I work in IT and am a video game phile, so we have electronics everywhere. In my opinion, and this is a little off topic, my son, who is 11 1/2 months old, has not been affected by having TV on all the time. He is progressing normally or ahead of schedule in many growth areas. He is a very smart child, very happy, and does extremely well outside of the house. People compliment us all the time on how wonderful our baby is. He still only has two teeth and gets ear infections, but that cannot be attributed to TV. So, whenever the TV is on, he’ll still play with his toys or want your attention or even want to read a book (we read to him all the time), but if there is something on TV that piques his interest, he’ll stop for a second before proceeding. This is especially true if a news anchor is on; we wonder if he thinks they are talking to him The only time Xander gets zoned out on the TV is when a) Jack’s Big Music Show is on; we actually use this show to calm him down if need be. Or b) whenever the Wii menu music plays. He gets mesmerized by that sound. Taking it up a notch technology-wise, Xander LOVES the computer. He wants to bang on the keyboards whenever one of us is near it. When we are not on the computer, he is happy to play with his toys. There are some games that kids his age can play i.e. on Fisher-Price’s website, where the kid bangs on the keyboard and some animation says, “Peek-A-Boo.” We have let him play with this and I think it has helped him learn the concept of cause and effect that we can then apply elsewhere. He cries when we take him away from the computer game after about five minutes, but we shove another toy in his face and his is happy again. So, we expose him to technology, and treat it as a toy, but don’t overdo it. And, if you look at the toys these days, they are pretty technologically advanced like the Tickle-Me Elmo dolls or the ones that talk a little too much. Besides, I think he would get bored and want to play with something else if we let him sit there (besides, his current favorite toys require zero batteries – a ball and a wooden playset). We also let him play with the cordless phone (after we press 555 first so he doesn’t call anyone) and he thinks that is a hoot as well.

My overall opinion, technology is a part of our lives and is here to stay. Exposing our child to technology early just seems to be the correct way to do things. I would not want to not expose my kid to technology and then have some kid down the street exposing him to the bad side of technology (this is true with any topic that children need to be exposed to by their parents i.e drugs, sex, etc.). As well, exposing my children to technology keeps myself and especially my wife (who is not as well verse on technology) on top of the latest and greatest so we can control his access and know the potential emerging pitfalls of technology. I don’t want to be the parent with the blinders on, who in the future, has a teen who is uploading drunken pics of themselves on Facebook and doing God knows what else, because I don’t understand the technology they are using and didn’t teach him the rights or wrongs and simply think that his is the A-student that he currently is and that’s it. In my opinion, there needs to be more books and classes to get parents up to speed on technology so they can expose their children to it properly. I think that is the problem more than anything else, that the parents are clueless and choose to remain clueless out of fear or lack of time or awareness. I’ll get off my soapbox. Overall, Xander does what he likes right now and has taken an interest in technology. I haven’t seen any ill affects to him by having the TV on or playing on the computer. He still plays and runs around and is just another normal baby! We will continue to expose him to new things like paints and instruments and baseballs and dinosaurs and let him decide what his likes and dislikes. As well, we’ll keep him well informed on technology and other potential taboo topics so he can make smart choices in the future. In my opinion, that future begins now.

I often wonder about the same thing too. Emily loves to eat remotes and “talk” on my cell phone. I think your friend Chole has the right idea. Sometimes I wonder about things like not having the TV on EVER or letting Emily be around electronics or reading to her for 3 hours everyday, etc…. I think balance is good. No extremes, a little bit of everything life has to offer and you will probably end up with a normal, happy child. As nervous as we all get about making these kinds of parenting decisions, we have to remember, we are all just people, trying to raise little people. We are all just doing the best we can. I am glad there are so many ways we can all help each other, like blogging. One way electronics are a good thing. Good luck and keep up the good work!

Mary B.