Why Let DCYF Into Your Home?
January 3, 2006Debi made some interesting points in her comments on this blog. She asks a question that I imagine many people might ask – why would anyone want to let DCYF into their home, or allow DCYF to talk to their children? I think there is a simple, straightforward answer to this one: someone, somewhere thought that your children might not be safe – regardless of who this person is, or how factual their information is, they took the time to call in their concerns. As a parent, I would at the very least, want to know what this concern was. Maybe that worker knocking on my door has information about my child being unsafe at a babysitter’s, or at a friend’s house. When DCYF knocks on your door you have no idea if the information they have names you as someone who might not be safe for the child, or if it names someone else, maybe not even someone you are aware of.
Debi also states that “a good portion of the time, it [being involved with DCYF] usually involves a false or vengeful complaint.” I couldn’t give you a statistic, but it is true that many of the calls DCYF receives turn out to be false. It can be anything from someone calling in a complaint that a home is dirty, or has not heat or running water to lack of supervision. Many of these concerns can be cleared up with one cooperative visit with a family. As I have made clear in this blog, I can only speak to my personal experiences with DCYF. As a worker for the Division, I make a point of never visiting a family with any sort of assumptions. That way, if I walk into a home that is supposed to be filthy, and it turns out to be immaculate, I am not surprised, and am able to clear up the confusion quickly.
So, in response to Debi’s question why would anyone open their door and the lives to DCYF? Because DCYF has information about your child that you might want to know. Because I trust that parents truly want to keep their children safe, and want to know whatever it is that might be a concern, and how to address that concern. I hope that parents realize that I am not the enemy, but someone there to help where I can, and ultimately protect children’s safety.
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It is my understanding that DCYF exists only to investigate and prosecute parents for abuse and neglect not provide services to families.We adopted an older boy from an Russian orphange. He is emotionally disturbed.He does not meet any agency or school criteria for deserving help because he is not violent, so we’ve had to provide all his services in the home. Ultimately he abused our biological daughter.We called DCYF for help to put him in foster care because he has become a danger to our family. This is when we learned the true nature of this agency when, we became the focus of the investigation for having this mentally disturbed adoptive boy in our home. They had to investigate us for abuse or neglect for failing to protect our daughter from him. No services were given. Now we have to pay for the institutionalization of this adoptive son with no help in sight. We will have to sell our home to cover the cost.When his treatment is done he will still not be safe around little children.Why could DCYF not offer foster care to this disturbed child who has become a menace to his adoptive family? Perhaps DCYF would be less overburdened if they would stop investigating innocent families and start helping them instead.I can think of several innocent families who were wrongfully reported to DYCF and suffered greatly in fear of thier investigation. Is anyone documenting this? Is anything being done to protect the innocent?How can DCYF be changed from a prosecutory agency to a helping agency? Is that asking too much?
Hi Carrie, as I have mentioned in response to other comments, I do not know your situation, so I cannot presume to know all of the factors involved in how and why your family ended up in the situation you did. What I can tell you, is that providing services to families is something that is talked about and stressed from the moment DCYF workers begin their training. DCYF has the option of providing families with voluntary cases (meaning a family asks for help, and DCYF determines that there was no abuse and neglect that ocurred). In that instance, DCYF would work with the the family’s county to secure payment for whatever services were decided on, and would monitor the case. These cases tend to be rather short, the time limits usually being a month or two. DCYF also has “B Cases”, where there is enough information to pursue Court action, but the family is willing to work with DCYF, and so prior to court action, DCYF sets up a case plan and attempts to work with the family without court intervention. Again, this is all dependent on the county’s willingness to pay for services.
Carrie you asked why your adopted son could not have been placed in foster care, but then later in your comment you remarked that even when he completes his treatment he will not be safe around little children. I am not sure if you are aware, but there is always a great need for foster families in our State. With so few families willing to open their doors, it is very difficult to find a family that is able to take only one child. That being said, DCYF would be neglecting their responsibilities if they placed your adopted son into a home with other children, wouldn’t they?
I admire your willingness to care for a child who has special needs – it has clearly profoundly impacted the rest of your family. It is sad and unfortunate that in your situation things turned out the way they did.
Though I cannot quote the exact statictics, I do know that more than half of the assessments that DCYF investigates are closed as unfounded. The NH State Law requires that every citizen in the state report any concerns of abuse or neglect. The exact word is “concerns” and the law says nothing about being able to prove these concerns. The theory behind this is that if a wider net is cast, and some families who are not abusing or neglecting their children come into contact with DCYF, then DCYF will hopefully be able to locate a majority of the families who are in need of their services. And quite frankly, as an assessment worker, I would rather work with 10 innocent families than miss one child who truly needed help.
I think changing DCYF policy is a daunting task. However, a good way to start would be to talk about your concerns with your case worker and your case worker’s supervisor. I would suggest setting up a meeting with those two individuals. If you do not receive a satisfactory response, ask to meet with the supervisor’s supervisor and work your way up the line. While it sounds like your family cooperated with DCYF in your case, not all families do, and the challenge is finding a way to make DCYF accessible to both sides of the line.
I am leary of any cys or dcyf because in this state that i live in it is a very bad system. i was abused as a child and when i spoke up and told they didnt believe me and i went thru 5 more years of abuse b4 i was finally taken off of my parents and that is just bc i ran away. i recently obtained a copy of my records and they make it sound like it was all my fault noone ever paid for what they did to me. Also i was a foster parent for a while to try and give back to my community and help someone since i wasnt helped and again the system is more interested in money than protected the children, for example (i will only list a few though i have many) a baby drug addicted at birth was given a home at 2 days old and at 1yr old the baby’s extended family decided they wanted to visit so they were allowed, then they wanted to adopt him, they failed drug and alchol tests 3 times but were granted adoption of this baby at 18 months old. also 5 kids sepersted in the system we had 2 of them were in foster care this is their 5th time. parents arrested for drug possion and put in jail and still allowed to see the kids during school hrs once a week thus the kids not getting a very good education missing one day a week of school. also a minor was talking to an older man on the internet called him out of state on my cell phone which she stole and when confronted the case worker said oh well we tried to keep her away from him but she wont listen so we are allowing her contact now. OMG- the system is screwed up and i do believ what you said about using it as a way of revenge, my in-laws family does not like me and decided to tell me while i am pregnant-that they think i shouldnt be with my children and that they will prove me an unfit mother and call CYS. if CYS is this screwed up in our state i dont want them talking to my kids, God knows what they would try and get them to say. i know that it isnt this way everywhere, at least i am hoping not, so i dont blame all social workers or gov’t agencys please dont misunderstand, i hope that there are good ones out there hopfully more good ones than not.
I have to agree with the comments above. The only “abuse’ my son suffered were at the hands of his foster mother (and this was reported to DCYF by his therapist, and DCYF chose to ignore it) and by his school principal; the police refused to investigate because the detective said it is not a crime for the principal. When is sexual abuse ok? Do we need to warn all parents of children with special needs that their children are at risk because a ploiceman decided that it’s not a crime for the school principal to molest them?
I saw the video tape made by the DCYF worker while my son was in the hospital (after having attempted to murder his sister). When he owned his behavior, she prompted him repeatedly, saying “Don’t you mean it was your mother’s fault that…..” He is a pretty vulnerable kid, and is anxious to please, so he changed his story as she requested….
I guess that counts as “proof” in Cow Hampshire…
I am under investigation in 2 states the one my son lives in with his father and here in RI where my 6 yo daughter lives with me..every year since my son has gone to live with his father I get no less than 2 calls a year reported by the school saying my son has made an accusation of abuse..this year he started a new school less than 3 weeks ago and already I am being ivestigated for abuse and neglect on both my daughter and son…my son has a severe learning disability and tends to lie and tell great stories to get attention..I do not nor have I ever abused my children ..I yell alot yes ..and there have been occasions where I have spnked my daughters butt ..I never have slapped punched or used any kind of device to hurt my children..my son will take one situation and turn it into something that it was not how as a mother can I protect or prevent these things from happening..my 6 yo is walking around crying because she thinks she is gonna be taken away from here mommy and daddy cause as she puts it her brother tells lies…she is scared to come home after school she is scared if she see the police cause she thinks they are gonna take her..my son does not even live with me I sent him to live with his father is mass for a better education and what I ended up with is being accused of abuse everytime her returns to school..got any advice
Hi Kimberly,
I’m sorry to hear about the investigations you are undergoing. As a former DCYF worker, I can tell you that proactive work goes a long way in proving that you have the best intentions for your kids. For example, talking to your case worker about parenting classes you might be able to take (even if you think you already know everything they would tell you, just the act of going there and showing that you have an interest in improving your parenting skills is a good thing). Since you know that your son can mis-interpret situations, why not try adjusting your parenting style when he is around – don’t give him anything to blow out of proportion – no spankings, no yelling, etc. Also, I would strongly recommend not discussing the details of what is happening with your daughter. As you mentioned, she is already worried about the police taking her away, and a 6 year old should see the police as a helpful agency, someone to turn to in times of trouble, not someone to be afraid of. It’s too late to go back and not talk about any of this stuff with her, but she doesn’t need to know the details of the investigations, and as much as possible, try to reassure her that everything is ok, and that she has nothing to worry about – that you are the parent, and you will address any concerns that the police or anyone else has. I also think that having an open and honest discussion with your case workers about what is going on, and what they recommend you do in order to complete the investigation. You’d be surprised at how responsive most case workers are when parents show an interest in improving the situation and making sure that future reports are not filed. Good luck!!