When I’m A Parent I’ll Never…
March 2, 2007
When I’m a parent I’ll never put my kid in one of those leash things. When I’m a parent I’ll never take my infant to a resturant. When I’m a parent I’ll… I’m just wondering how many of us utter those words – particularly at times when someone else’s kid is irritating us. I know Zach and I used to say all the time that we wouldn’t bring our baby to reaturants – what’s the point, it’s not like you can enjoy a meal, since one of you is always attending to the baby, and then when he or she cries, it irritates the rest of the patrons who had maybe escaped their own screaming babies to come out this evening, only to be met with it at the resturant too, and on and on… So now I’m chuckling at myself because last night Xander did go out with us.
Zach had drinks and semi-dinner with coworkers last night to welcome the newest addition to the group. Traditionally, spouses are welcome to come, and some do. Although I knew Zach wouldn’t be home late, I didn’t want to miss out on some yummy dinner, and the chance to visit with many of the people I knew would be there. So, I packed Xander’s diaper bag, and off we went. Xander was pretty well behaved, but he fussed when he was hungry. It’s so hard to tell if anyone was irritated by that, as no one wants to say to a parent’s face, “your kid is irritating me.”
Driving home I could only laugh at myself, remembering how irritated I used to get at people who brought their babies to resturants. Now I’m one of those people. Don’t get me wrong – I don’t forsee Zach, Xander and I going out for a nice family meal for quite a while, but in this relaxed setting, it seemed to work fine. Suddenly all of those rules I had previously set out for myself seemed silly and superficial. I’ll definitely think twice before acting like a know-it-all – it’s so impossible to know what you would do in situations like these until you’ve walked a mile in the parenting shoes.
Ohmigod. I hated those leash things too. But, like you, I am not going to rule it out until Joseph is walking/running around. I used to think that they were borderline abusive, but perhaps not using one is just as abusive to the poor parents chasing after their unruly kids! I am finding myself throwing all my “I’ll Nevers” out the window as well.
Isn’t that something all new parents go through? Remembering all their “nevers?” I’ll NEVER let my kid sleep in bed with me.. Until.. my husband goes on deployment and the baby cries unless he has his pacifier (which doesn’t happen to be rubber and happens to be attached to me).. So the only way for me to get sleep was to have him sleep with me. I’m sure more of my “nevers” will come and go as well. I do manage to get James out at restaurants quite a bit. he doesn’t cry or fuss too very often. I am learning that the more he is out the better he behaves (at least so far). He’s only four months so we’ll see how it goes. I also wanted to say that James makes that same face and I call it his “frog face.”
Hi Mary, I think you’re right – it is probably something that every parent goes through. I just hope most parents are able to have a sense of humor about it. I admire your strength at single parenthood – I did it for a week and was ready to pull my hair out. I also admire your husband’s dedication – it’s a huge sacrifice for anyone to serve their country. When service men and women leave their families behind, it really reminds us of how much they sacrifice to serve and protect. So, thank you to your whole family and good luck to all of you!
Hi Melissa, those leash things are a bit questionable, aren’t they? I am also reserving judgment until I’m actually in a position where I might need one – then I might be singing an entirely different tune