The Leash Debate
April 6, 2011Apparently the current hot mommy topic is whether or not to leash your child. The ridiculously judgmental Erin Behan at Strollerderby doesn’t think you are a bad parent, but she does think you are lazy. Before I had children, I agreed with Erin, and probably thought worse. Then I had Xander, and after some work, he understood that we hold hands when in parking lots, etc. It took some time, but we got through to him. I didn’t really think much about leashes when Xander was a toddler. We didn’t need one, but I didn’t scoff at people who used them.
Then we had Parker. He has rocked our world. In parking lots we have two choices: Hold a screaming, writhing mess of a Tasmanian Devil in our arms for the length of the walk, or let Parker walk on his own. I dreaded picking Parker up from day care for about 4 months until I decided it was a battle I didn’t want to fight every afternoon. I am not lazy Erin Behan. I read books to my kid about holding your parent’s hand. I talked with him, tried to reason with him, tried to bribe him, tried to encourage him. I fought with him EVERY DAY for FOUR MONTHS. That’s EIGHTY DAYS of attempting to teach my kid. And I failed. I failed miserably. I’m certainly not going to put my kid in a stroller to walk the 20 feet from the day care door to my car every afternoon (and that would elicit some pretty painful screams as well). I continue this battle in bigger parking lots, and gather stares from everyone within a 100 yard radius for the blood curdling screams coming from my child. I’m out of ideas. Encouraging doesn’t work. Threats and punishment don’t work. Reading books about good boys hasn’t worked. Bribery hasn’t worked. He’s two and the most stubborn child I have ever met. If any child has ever been leash worthy, it’s Parker.
We don’t own a leash for Parker. But, there have certainly been times where I wished for one. These days, I get it. I could be holding Xander’s hand, and walking with him when Parker bolts for the nearest puddle. Xander can’t run as fast as me, so what do I do? Do I drop my 4 year old’s hand in the middle of the parking lot and chase my 2 year old down? Do I let my 2 year old run and continue on with the 4 year old? There is no good solution.
I have a friend who took her two children on a plane by herself last year. Her kids are the same age as mine, and her youngest has a very similar attitude as Parker. She had leash backpacks on both of them at the airport, and if I had been in her position I would have done the same thing. With everything you have to manage just for yourself at an airport, worrying about your kids darting off is just unnecessary stress.
So, I’ll take this post back to where every mommy blog will end up eventually on this debate. We’re all moms and we all make decisions that we think are best for our kids. Lets stop judging each other and get back to supporting each other. Erin Behan doesn’t have to use a leash on her kid, but she also doesn’t need to sneer at the parents who do.
Thank you for seeing the other pov. I have a child who darts off and runs away as soon as she has the chance. She ripped away from me and in a matter of seconds, I lost her in the aisles at Kohls. It scared me to death. I, too, express the importance of staying with mommy but she likes to explore. Using a backpack leash allows her to do just that and I don’t worry about losing her. Why is everyone always so judgmental? Everyone parents differently and does what works best for their family. I agree with you. No matter what the issue ( as long as it does not harm your child) can’t we be supportive and realize that just because we do things a certain way don’t mean it is the only way!