Xander Week 12 - Baby Sign Language?
December 12, 2006
So, BabyCenter’s weekly bulletin this week discussed baby sign language. Zach and I had discussed whether or not we wanted to do this with our baby when I was pregnant. At first glance, this seems like a pretty exciting idea. All the experts and literature, even Wikipedia sing it’s praises - babies become less frustrated, have fewer tantrums, develop a special bond with their parents, etc.
I have only seen one family who has actually taught their child sign language. After meeting that little girl, Zach and I decided that we would not teach our kid sign language before he could speak. This little girl is three years old and has a verbal vocabulary of about 20 words. She just recently started putting two or three words together. Although she is three, she appears much younger because she can’t really speak - when she points and says “dog” or “ball” she looks like she’s just a year old, or perhaps developmentally delayed. I don’t think there is any developmental concerns with this child - she just doesn’t speak. Since she is able to get her needs met by signing, she has not bothered to learn speech yet.
This may be an isolated case, and I’m sure there are parents out there with positive experiences in infant sign language. I find it fascinating however, that no one ever discusses the other side - any negative ramifications to teaching your child to sign. How are parents supposed to make an informed decision when only one side of the issue is presented? I also wonder about making life too easy - from minimizing frustration as an infant, to not using red pens because it might hurt a child’s feelings to outlawing “tag” because it’s a chase game and one child gets pick on to be “it”.
Sometimes it seems like we spend a great deal of time and effort protecting our children from everything that might upset them. If we do that, then how will they learn to handle things that truly upset them as adults? If a baby learns to sign, and that minimizes his or her frustration, then how is that baby going to handle frustration as a toddler or small child? When do we teach our children how to handle life if we are always shielding them from it?
Maybe baby sign language is the way to go, maybe kids do develop more enriched communication that way, but children have survived for plenty of years without it and still manage to communicate their needs pretty well. Lots of literature says that kids will learn to roll over faster if you put them on their stomachs because they don’t necessarily enjoy “tummy time” and are motivated to get onto their backs. Why doesn’t the same logic apply to speech? Won’t kids learn to speak sooner if they have the motivation to do so?
I totally agree with your post. My wife and I have friends who taught their kid sign language. He is now over two and cannot communicate verbally effectively at all. It is frustrating talking to him because he doesn’t say more than one word, or he starts to sign and his mom has to translate for him.
I do think that teaching a baby a few basic signs like “hungry” and “sleepy” could be beneficial. When we have our baby in February, I’ll try to teach them that. However, I think that going overboard and teaching a baby every last word in the sign language book only hurts the child. I assume that the child thinks everybody talks like this and they just don’t know any better!
Hi Ben, first, congrats on your baby! I was so relieved to read your comment. After doing a little research and reading all of these positive remarks about baby sign language, I was worried that I would get a bunch of negative comments about this post. So, I’m glad that Zach and I are not the only parents out there who think this fad might be going a little over the top. I don’t disagree that a few basic words could help, but it seems like the parents who go overboard are the ones who can’t wait to find out what their kids have to say, and once the kids are able to pick up on the basics, the parents are encouraged to teach them more and more. Good luck to you and your wife - I hope she has a relatively pain-free delivery of a healthy baby!
Just read your post about sign-language, and wanted to let you know that my husband and I went with the same logic and resisted the sign-language craze. Our daughter is now 21 months, and has amazing verbal skills (I’m biased, but strangers and daycare-givers marvel at her, too!). One thing we did do that was recommended in a book or two (can’t remember which ones) - when Aviva was an infant and making a lot of assorted non-word sounds, we would have “conversations” with her in her “language.” Supposedly, doing this gives the baby confidence in his/her verbal engagement. Plus, there was a ridiculous, delightful synergy in the three of us interacting at her verbal level…Probably unbearable to anyone besides us. Since she started using words (around 11 months), I’ve done a lot of repetitive enunciation of words to help her get them right. It’s not that I care if my daughter pronounces multi-syllabic words correctly at her young age, but the fact is she pays rapt attention and seems to love the repetition, complexity, and learning. For her I think our language is like a puzzle that she delights in mastering; once mastered it’s both a powerful tool and song.
Hi Shauna - thank you so much for your comment - it makes me feel better knowing that other parents out there aren’t falling for the sign language craze either. Xander has been big into the “coo language” lately, and we’ve been doing the same thing - responding to his sounds with sounds of our own, mimicking a conversation. I hadn’t heard about this giving a baby confidence in their verbal engagement, but I’m glad to hear that maybe we’re doing something right
I totally agree with you about the synergy when interacting at their verbal level. I know it’s silly, but sometimes it seems like Xander actually believes that we understand what he is saying, and that we are responding appropriately - it’s so much fun! Take care, and have a wonderful holiday with your exceptionally verbal daughter!
We tried using baby sign language when our daugter was at the recommended age but she didn’t need it. Amazingly enough her ability to communicate was more advanced than her ability to mimic signs.
I have seen baby sign language work without the negative effects mentioned above so I know it can be done correctly but I can also see how teaching signs could deter vocal development.
We did not and still haven’t talked in “baby talk” and I don’t think we ever mimicked her coos. We did talk to her as if she was an adult. We used simple words but we didn’t “dumb” it down by using the baby talk e.g. “wooky at the wittle doggy”. It was so funny to hear a 13 month old say “Gigabite.”
We are expecting a sibling so I guess I will know in a few months whether or not adult communication works at teaching communication consistantly or not. I may end up using baby talk after all.
Hi Mana - I’m interested in everyone’s experiences with baby sign language. I’m sure there are some very successful examples of children who have thrived with sign language. I have not met any of these children, and in the instances that I have seen sign language, there have been detrimental effects. The fact that babies have grown up successfully for thousands of years without sign language, and the fact that the sign language sometimes does manifest negative effects determined our decision.
I supposed that some people have the “gift” of baby talk, but I am not one of those people. I feel very silly using it, and haven’t been able to use it with Xander, even if I wanted to.
I hope that your new baby is happy and healthy and that his or her older sibling is equally thrilled with the baby’s arrival!