Baby Week 29 – To Tie or Not To Tie?
November 3, 2008
Zach and I have always wanted 2 children. Not 3, not 4, not 1 – we want 2. So after this baby is born, we’re done. We’ve got the family that we want (and can afford) and we’ll be quite content with that. So my doctor’s office offered to do a tubal ligation for me when I have my c-section at the end of December. I said “um, sure…” When I walked into the office, I hadn’t given it much thought – of course I would get my tubes tied, or Zach would have a vasectomy after this baby is born. The easiest time to do it is when I’m already open on the table – it just adds and extra five minutes to the procedure. Since I’m already there, it’s the logical choice to make.
But then my overly worrisome imagination kicked in. What if this baby has some sort of health problem? I’m talking about something like Spina Bifida or Tay-sach’s disease that would severely limit the baby’s life. It’s not that we wouldn’t love and care for this child the same as any other parent would love and care for a child, but his life would come to an end so much more quickly. Five or ten years down the road, would Zach and I want to think about bringing another baby into the family, or would be accept the two that we had, and the fact that Xander would mostly be an only child growing up?
I can’t predict the future, and although every sign points to a normal, healthy pregnancy, there’s still that chance, and that annoying little voice in my mind that keeps saying “what if?” so when it comes to tubal ligation, I hesitate. If my crystal ball could assure me that this next baby is going to be happy and healthy, then I’d sign the requisite forms for the operation tomorrow. But without that assurance, I hesitate…
What would you do?
I have finally reached my 3rd trimester. Though when I look back at the previous two, it feels like it flew by. With Xander, it felt like every day and every week took forever to arrive. I was so excited to find out what the next development or the next milestone would be. This time around I know what to expect. I’m not reading “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” every week, and while I’m still reading a few weekly newsletters in my email, it’s mostly to make sure I’m feeling and expecting what I should be. While some things like the first trimester “morning” sickness and exhaustion were much more intense this time, and I appreciated the comfort level in my second trimester a great deal more (especially knowing what was coming in the 3rd trimester), the length of time it’s taken to get here feels so much shorter. I also feel like there are still a ton of things to do before we’re ready for the newest addition to the family.
Although I’ve been sworn to secrecy, 
In my first pregnancy, Xander moved in what I would have called a typical manner – he would kick occasionally throughout the day, and have hiccups once in a while, but there would be hours at a time where he would be resting peacefully in utero – sleeping, floating, whatever babies do in there. Once he came out and started to gain control of his limbs, Zach and I often described him as in “constant motion” – he never stops moving until he falls alseep. We marveled at the amount of energy this kid has.
I think I’ve peaked in the comfortable portion of this pregnancy, and I’m on the downward slide towards birth. The last few days my back and all of the muscles in my lower body have started to ache. My stomach is starting to grow more and the baby is apparently putting on about 6oz a week, and I’m really starting to feel it. This worries me since I’ve still got 3 months and a few days to go. If I’m already starting to feel worn, this is not a good sign. I was hoping the energy and comfort level would last a little longer… On the other hand, I can’t wait to meet the new guy! Who will he look like? Will he remind us of Xander as a baby? Will he have a full head of hair? What color will his eyes be? How will Xander react to the new one? I guess I’ll have to keep trying to remember that the payoff is definitely worth all of this pain and discomfort, but I know as the months drag on this is going to be harder and harder to do…
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