Sometimes it feels like just a few weeks ago I was waddling around in the middle of August with a belly that didn’t seem to end, or walking up and down my street, pausing for every contraction and hoping that soon I’d be ready to go to the hospital, or giving Xander his first bath, or getting peed on again because we hadn’t yet figured out the brilliance of a “pee-pee cloth”.
When Xander was 4 months old we started him in day care. It was so hard for a few weeks, I was so filled with guilt about sending my kid off to be cared for by someone else. Then I discovered how much he loved it there, and how much they loved him. He made friends, and looked forward to going. Our day care is divided into 4 rooms – the Yellow (baby) room, the Green (toddler) room, the Purple (pre-pre school) room and the Blue (pre-school) room. Xander has been in the Green room for about a year now. When he first moved up, he was more than ready – his best friend (who is a month older) had moved a few months earlier and he was really not interested in playing with the babies or with the baby toys anymore.
We’re struggling with his readiness to move again. As before, his friend moved up at the start of the summer. And as young boys sometimes do, his friend will tell him that he cannot play in the Purple room. A few weeks ago the older 2 rooms went on a field trip to ride on a train. Xander was just crushed that he couldn’t go too. And to add insult to injury, one of the older boys was apparently naughty and unable to go, so he spent the day in the Green room with Xander. When Xander got home he asked us if it was just naughty boys who couldn’t go on the train ride (he was thinking that he had somehow been naughty as well and that was why he wasn’t allowed to go) – that one was difficult to explain and thankfully the last one we have to weather before he can go on field trips!
Today is Xander’s last day in the Green room. Preparation for the Purple room has been a lot more intensive. We knew at the start of the summer that he would be moving up in a few months, but to get there, Xander needed to be potty trained. This proved to be a great motivator for Xander. And he did great with potty training. We still have an occasional accident, but those are few and far between.
The other requirement was for Xander to finally get rid of his binkies. Yes, we are those parents who have delayed and delayed taking away the pacifier. And Xander is that kid who is still attached to it. He doesn’t ‘need’ it anymore, but he still enjoys having it when we let him. I think part of our hesitation was a friend of ours telling us that they took their youngest son’s pacifier away when he was 3 and he hasn’t been the same since (he is starting 1st grade this year). That sort of worried us into not making a decision. Xander is comfortable with leaving his binky in the car when we go places, and when it’s out of site, it’s out of mind. But, every day when I pick him up from day care, the first thing he does is look for his binky in his car seat (where we leave it in the morning when I drop him off).
All summer we have talked to Xander about giving up his binkies. We decided that Xander could “sell” them at a local bookstore (where our friend happens to work) for some books and toys. The day has finally come, and tomorrow we will make the trek to Meredith to finally make the “trade”. I think Xander is looking forward to it, and he is certainly excited about it, but sometimes I wonder if he really understands the ramifications of it. I wonder if he truly understands that tonight will be the last night he will ever get to fall asleep with a pacifier in his mouth. I think and hope that he is ready, but I also think and fear that we are going to have a few long nights adjusting to falling asleep binky-less. (As a lucky happenstance, he is spending tomorrow night with his aunt and uncle, so we’ll miss his first binky-free night!)
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