Posts Tagged ‘mother’s day’

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Happy Mother’s Day

May 7, 2010

pink100009Mother’s Day is this Sunday (in case you’ve been hiding under a rock for 3 weeks and have missed the billions of internet, radio and television ads, as well as water cooler discussions).  In my world, I get wished a happy mother’s day throughout the weekend.  My day care is awesome about preparing the most wonderful mother’s day gifts any kid could ever dream of making – I look forward to them every year and often display them in my home or office.  My husband is wonderful about helping the kids pick out cards and decorate them, and I usually get some very pretty flowering tree or bush planted in my yard, which is wonderful.  Then we also visit our families to wish our mother’s a happy day.

So here is where my confusion comes in.  It’s “Mother’s Day”.  I’m a mother, so it must be “my day”.  And if it’s my day, then how come I don’t get to do what *I* want?  I’m a mother to wonderful 1 and 3 year old boys.  I also work full time.  Although time management experts would probably disagree with me, I manage to find approximately 3 hours each week all to myself (and I pay dearly for it the next morning when I say up too late to enjoy that time).   So what is it that I want for “my day”?  Peace and quiet.  I want a day where I get out of bed when I want to get out of bed.  Where I make tea for myself and no one else.  Where I can lounge in my bed or on my couch or on my porch and read or watch tv or do whatever I feel like doing.  I want a day of peace and quiet with no crying, no screeching, no yelling, no poopy diapers, no butt wiping, no cooking, no picking up, no cleaning.  I want a day where I don’t have to talk to a single soul if I don’t want to.  Where I can take a bath in my whirlpool tub if I want (in 3 months in my new house I’ve managed 2 baths – and one was in my bathing suit with the kids).  But, society tells me that as a mother, this is not what I “should” want.  I should want to spend the day with my smiling children and husband.  I should accept my macaroni necklace* with a smile and then go about packing everything up for our day-long trip through other mother’s houses.

So I can only conclude that this day is mis-named.  It’s not really “Mother’s Day”, it’s “Mother’s Celebration”.  It’s a day we celebrate and appreciate mothers, but it’s not their day.  It’s not a day for mothers to do what they want, because I bet if we took a poll 99% of mothers would say (in one form or another) that what they really want is a day off.

So, I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend of celebrating mothers, but remember, when you’re wishing them a “Happy mother’s day”, it’s not really “their” day.  I think next year perhaps we’ll celebrate grandparent’s day instead, and then give Zach and me the day off on Mother’s/Father’s day.

*it is important to note (especially for my day care providers reading this) that I have never received a macaroni necklace.  The artwork I do receive is always awesome and greatly appreciated :-)

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Dear Mom,

May 8, 2009

It’s that time of year again when we’re supposed to remind you how much we love an appreciate you. I hope that you don’t really need a reminder. I hope that I am appropriately expressing my love and gratitude on a regular basis. I also know that you don’t really need this reminder. I know this, because I don’t really need the reminder from my children either.

Mothers and daughters have a special relationship. We can at times be so similar, and at other times disagree so strongly. Our relationship has evolved over time, and it has certainly had it’s ups and downs. As with most children, becoming a parent changed my perspective on parents, and mothers in particular. I understand more now, I see more and my recollections of my childhood have a new perspective as well.

I have so many fond memories of my childhood – collecting and waxing leaves with you for a fall centerpiece on our dining room table. Coming inside after playing in the snow for the afternoon and drinking hot cocoa with you. Decorating our Christmas tree year after year. These memories are the reason I work so hard to create similar ones for my children. Life isn’t always happy and easy, but I want the happy memories to outweigh the unpleasant ones. They do for me, and that is what I want for my children.

What I didn’t realize growing up, and couldn’t understand until now is that my entire childhood you were teaching me how to become a parent. You were not only teaching me, but also teaching your future grandchildren. Your legacy lives on in them. And realizing this, I now understand that the things I teach my children will be passed along to my grandchildren – and what an enormous responsibility that is! But it is also a wonderful opportunity.

So I guess what I’m trying to say Mom, is that I love you, and thank you for teaching me to be a good parent. And also, that I know these words are unnecessary since parental love does not require reciprocation, but it certainly is nice to know that someone remembers all those dinners you cooked, and all those games you watched, and all those presents you wrapped and everything in between and that every single moment was worth the effort you put in because it made me who I am today, and it’s helping to shape your grandchildren as well. You are an amazing parent, and I am proud to be your daughter.

I love you mom.