Xander Week 3 - The Breast feeding Rollercoaster
October 20, 2006
I imagine that many women get the same question I got when I was pregnant - are you going to breast feed? My answer was “I’m going to try.” So, after Xander was born, we set to work at learning how the whole breast feeding process was supposed to work. The first time the nurse brought Xander in to nurse, he latched on quite easily. That first night, I was encouraged that things were going to go smoothly. For the past month I think that some days, and then other days I wish that we had decided to bottle feed the little guy. One of my nipples was blistered and sore for over 2 weeks. My mom said to keep going and it would get better. It did finally, but it was a long two weeks.
Since the first painful 2 weeks, we’ve been on a rollercoaster. Some days I think that Xander and I have the routine down - he latches on easily and eats well. Other days, it takes 10-20 minutes just to get him latched on, and he’ll absoultely refuse to latch onto my left breast. Most of the literature talks about breast feeding being a bonding experience for mother and child. It’s not that I don’t feel like breast feeding is a bonding experience, but I get bored. Sitting in a quiet room for 40 minutes every 3 hours gets dull after a while. I’ve taken to reading or watching television while nursing. I worry that since I’m not talking to Xander through every experience maybe I’m depriving him of some bonding experience.
I have found some useful products through this process. I need a breast pump, mostly for when I return to work. After a great deal of research, I settled on the Medela Pump In Style pump. According to the reviews I read, and the nurses that I spoke to, this is the “cadalliac” of breast pumps. I have found it to be a very good pump, though I haven’t used any others, so I don’t have anything else to compare it to. I do like that it pumps similarly to the way a baby suckles, and I like the portability of the unit, which comes in a discrete black bag that can run on AA batteries or be plugged in. No electric breast pump is cheap. I have heard of people paying upwards of $300 for this particular pump. I found the best deal for this particular pump on BabyCenter where I paid about $225. It is now listed at $250, but they are including a free Medela Harmony Breast Pump with the purchase.
I also found that a breast feeding pillow made life much, much easier. Initially, I thought that I could simply use pillows that I already had. It was amazing the difference that a pillow designed for breast feeding. I purchased a Boppy Pillow. Partially because this one is the one I read about most often in my research, and partially because they are sold at Target, and I had a gift certificate. I LOVE the boppy. It holds Xander in exactly the right position for me, and I don’t have to put in much effort. Since his body is supported by the pillow, it frees up a hand for me to read, drink a glass of water, etc. I also use the boppy when I’m just holding the baby. I chose to buy the original boppy instead of the “naked boppy” because it was cheaper. I learned since then that I should have invested in the “naked boppy” and purchased a cover for it, as Xander has leaked through his clothes and onto the boppy. Instead of cleaning the whole pillow, I could have simply cleaned the cover. I guess I’ll know for next time. The other plus to the boppy is that I can take it with me, so if I need to nurse someplace other than my house, I don’t have to seek out pillows and an appropriate chair and space, I simply need a quiet room, and I can sit pretty much anywhere. I would highly recommend that any mother planning on nursing purchase a nursing pillow.
Finally, the nurses in the hospital gave me some ComfortGel Hydrogel Pads from Ameda. They are reusable for 5-7 days, and work best if kept cool (in the refrigerator). I wore these gel pads 24 hours a day for the first week and then some (I wore out the pads!) These pads did wonders in soothing my sore nipples. If you can’t get samples from your hospital like I did, you can purchase them at the Ameda site. They cost $28.75 for 4 pads. I also found some disposable breast pads from Lansinoh. These pads have lanolin in them, which is also nice for limiting dryness and cracking. At Target, you can get 60 pads for $7.79, which I thought was a pretty good deal.
So the nursing challenge continues. Some days are easier than others. I am glad that I can provide for my child this way, and I do enjoy the bonding time. I also enjoy the fact that I’m not spending $1,800.00 in formula each year. However, I think once I’m done nursing, I won’t miss it either.
Hey Sara,
I can really identify with your breastfeeding dilemma to some extent, as my 5-week old daughter also gave me some trouble with latching on & staying on… I would also spend some good, boring 40-50 minutes just getting her to latch and it was frustrating! After 2 weeks of this, I decided to use my pump to pump out the breastmilk and feed it to her from a bottle. I use a manual pump and its been working out fantastically. And honestly, I find bottle-feeding a bonding experience on its own: the baby is a lot calmer while she eats, and she would lay there for the length of the feeding and simply gaze at me, it’s so adorable! I really don’t miss breastfeeding anymore, so don’t let yourself feel guilty. Good luck!
Hi Sara,
Joseph (just over 4 weeks old) and I have had a rough go of it as well. I am using nipple shields and have been since the beginning. I attempt nursing without it a couple of times a day, but either he doesn’t latch (and I don’t give it even ten minutes of trying) or often it is excrutiatingly painful. All the same I find it to be a pleasureable experience. I have also watched tv just about every time since we started. Sure I talk to him and stroke his head too, I really don’t think he’s deprived of attention though. I wouldn’t feel bad it sounds like you are far more dedicated than I am and still are having difficulties.
Hi Melissa - I’m so glad to hear that there are others out there struggling as well (and that I’m not the only one who gets bore and watches tv while nursing)
Xander and I are doing much better with the latching on these days, though I’m starting to worry that I’m not producing enough milk for him. Sometimes he’ll be fussy shortly after draning both breasts, so then I end up supplimenting with formula - he’s much gassier when he eats formula, but I feel better knowing that he’s eating well.
I can totally simpathize with you on the not missing breastfeeding. Yes it wonderful for the baby, its always there and ready when you need it, and its free! BUT… I don’t think I have heard of one breastfeeding experience going well right off the bat, everyone has a horror story. All the sites and books do romantisize it a little bit. Just a lil about my story… Got ingorged at the hospital, the nurses didn’t bother to get the lactation specialist for me when I kept having problems. Five days after I got home my scabs(yes scabs-yuk ) healed on my nipples and I was able to bf, thank you anesthesia that made me to drugged to latch her properly. Then I got mastitis which is an infection in the breast which cause you to feel like you have the flu and your breast to ache. Then it spread and tried to absess(sp?) inside my breast. To top it off the meds I was on killed all the good bacteria in my baby’s instestines so we are starting from scratch again. Toss in a lil acid reflux for my poor kid and we have had one hell of a start. Best of luck with your breastfeeding adventure.
Hi Melinda - you definitely win the miserable breast feeding experience contest - that sounds awful! When Xander weaned himself at 6 months I was sad at first - mostly because I didn’t have any say in the matter, he just stopped nursing. It wasn’t log after that I realized how free I was again! I didn’t have to be home to nurse every 3 or 4 hours. I didn’t have to pump in between feedings. I didn’t have to try to keep milk cold when traveling. The greatest part is that Xander was perfectly happy with cold formula - it made him the easiest baby - we would make up formula and keep it in the fridge, or when traveling, just bring the powder and a bottle of water. I admire your dedication at sticking to the nursing through all the misery. Just know that some day, you can wean your baby and the freedom from that experience is wonderful. Good luck!!