1 year old Parker

Last year on December 30th Zach and I got up before the sun (4am). I enjoyed my last shower for a few days, and then we grabbed our bag and drove about 3 blocks down the street to the hospital. When we arrived at the labor & delivery desk at 5am, they whisked me into a room and directly in to a johnny and then to bed where they stuck me with a few IV’s. We hung out and watched Parker’s movement on the fetal monitor for a while, and went through a few stacks of paperwork. Zach changed into some lovely maroon scrubs and at some point, I got my epidural. By 7:30am I was wheeled down to the operating room. I remember shivering a lot – first from the epidural, and then the cool temperature in the OR compounded the shaking. The very kind anesthesiologist tucked a warmed blanket around my head and shoulders while the rest of the operating team worked below my waist. I can remember a few tugs and pulls, and then wondering if they were going to make the incision soon, which is right when I first heard your little squeaky cry.

A few hours later, Zach and I were settled back in our room with the newest addition to our family, Parker Austin. Luckily, this time around, one of us knew how to breastfeed, so that process went a little more smoothly. Right from the start, you were Squeaky – you were the noisiest eater we had seen, and we chuckled over your little noises. You had lots of visitors that first day, and slept through nearly all of it. Your brother was so excited to meet you, and immediately insisted that we unswaddle you so that he could see your toes (I know, he’s got some strange ideas at times).

Eventually the visitors dwindled, and the three of us slept and relaxed for the rest of the day. The next few days in the hospital were pretty quiet and relaxed. You slept a lot, and I tried to sleep whenever possible. We tried to learn as much about your new personality as possible. We let you stay up to watch the ball drop on New Year’s Eve, but I told you that would be the last time in a long time that we’d allow it I finally let your Dad eat Thai food (during our pregnancy, I wouldn’t let anyone even have it in the same room with me – even the sight of the restaurant was enough to make me feel nauseous).

You have been a joy and delight every day since you were conceived. At the same time, you have challenged us in ways we could not have anticipated every day. You can be the best, happiest baby, and you have the most adorable smile that has only gotten cuter with the six teeth you have sprouted. On the other hand, you have very strong opinions, and are not shy about letting us know when you are irritated. Mostly, you get mad when we try to change your diaper (which sometimes takes two people – one to pin you down, and one to clean you up) or try to get you dressed – the cold winter has provided plenty of challenges for all of us – you can take mittens off almost as fast as we can put them on, and many days we skip them (assuming the weather isn’t too cold).

You are a wonderful sleeper.  If you had been our first child, we might have considered having a whole litter.  The first 6-8 months were rough, but now you’re amazing and we very much appreciate that (especially because your brother is still a rotten sleeper).  You are also an excellent eater (not at all picky) which is refreshing.  I’m sure you’ll develop your own picky tastes as you toddle into childhood, but for now we are enjoying the fact that you’ll eat pretty much all of whatever we put on your tray.

You learned to roll over at about 5 months.  By 7 months you were scooting and then crawling.  At 10 months you could stand for the briefest of seconds on your own, and started to cruise on furniture.  You took your first steps in the middle of your 11th month, but you still prefer to crawl  (oh man, you are the fastest crawler – it’s tough to keep up with you sometimes!)

You are a rough and tumble little boy.  You love to tackle your brother, or anyone else who might be sitting or lying on the floor.  You learned to crawl up the stairs at 9 months, but we are still too terrified to let you do it on your own, and your climbing back down skills are still a bit weak.  In some ways, you can be just like your brother.  In others, you are his antithesis, you are chaos where he is order.  He has loved you from the beginning though, and the two of you are clearly friends.  Xander does not like to go places without you, and even when offered a treat, he refuses if you can’t come.  He always remembers to ask if you can have some of whatever he has, and he loves it when the two of you “match” – especially clothing (which personally, isn’t my thing, but I do indulge your brother from time to time).  It is easy to see that you two will be the best of friends for years to come.

If I could only use one word to describe your first year, it would be bouncy.  We’ve had lots of ups and downs with you (your weight, your sleeping pattern, your moods, etc.) and the one movement you have loved ever since you could hold your head steady is bouncing – if we could just hold you under your arms, you would jump and bounce happily for hours at a time (unfortunately, we have yet to meet anyone with the arm strength to keep up with that desire).

You are my youngest and last son.  I love you more than words can describe.  You are smart, strong willed and have brief but wonderful moments of tenderness.  One of my favorite memories from 2009 will always be rocking quietly with you in front of the fire as you fall asleep and watching the snow slowly fall out the window.  It was as close to perfection as I have gotten in a long time.  I hope your first year was as wonderful for you as it was for us, and I know that this coming year will be just as amazing.  Happy Birthday Peanut!

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For the past few years, when I need to contact health insurance, it’s usually to do with pregnancies. We all have nightmare stories about getting lost in automated telephone responses, or waiting on hold for hours before giving up.  My experiences with Harvard Pilgrim have been entirely different.  First, I learned that there is no co-pay for regularly scheduled pre-natal visits.  Let me repeat that – no co-pay.  So every time I went to pee in a cup and get weighed and measured, it was free!  They also assigned me a nurse consultant, so if I had any questions having to do with pregnancy or baby I could call and ask.  I think this would have been more useful if I was a first time mom, but it was nice to know that I had another source of information and assistance if I wasn’t getting what I needed from my doctor’s office.

I’ve found that when I call the number listed on the back of my insurance card, I don’t wait on hold for a long time.  I speak with a human who responds in clear, understandable language.  Since I work in the customer service field, I have some rather strong opinions on what good customer service should be like.  The representatives at Harvard Pilgrim have always been pleasant, easy to understand, they answer my questions effectively, and they always ask if there is anything else they can help me with.

After Parker was born, we received a few bills for his birth.  This is not unusual for that temporary period between the time when the baby comes out, and when the baby gets an insurance card.  When the first bill arrived, I called the number given to me in the hospital, which directed me to the hospital’s customer service department where I was supposed to give them Parker’s insurance number.  I spent 15 minutes on hold.  I’m not exaggerating – I timed it, 15 minutes.  When I finally got to the customer service rep and explained my story, she suggested I contact my insurance company.  In my head I was thinking “I just sat on the hold, jiggling a fussy baby for 15 minutes for what?!?”

After that entirely frustrating conversation, I called Harvard Pilgrim.  Hold time was less than 3 minutes.  I spoke with a friendly lady who informed me that the bill was scheduled to be paid in full, and the check was due to be mailed out at the end of the week.  The conversation lasted less than 3 minutes, and I got all of the information I needed.  I assumed that the whole matter had been address, and I was satisfied that my insurance company was on top of the bill.

Flash forward a month, and we get a second bill from the hospital.  Since the check was on it’s way last time, I had (apprently incorrectly) assumed that the matter had been taken care of.  This one was a little more confusing, as pieces of the bill had been paid, but not the whole thing.  They were still charging us $871 for the pediatrician’s attendance at the birth (that was the biggest chunk of the itemized bill).  This time, I opted to call the insurance company first.  Again, after a short wait, I spoke with a friendly rep, who looked up my account and told me again that the bill had been paid in full, and that the check had been sent out.  She then told me that after we hung up, she would call the hospital and give them the check number, so that the could process everything correctly.  I have never had a customer service rep offer to go that extra step.  I would have expected her to give me the check number so that I could call the hospital.  Instead, she volunteered to do the extra leg work.  It was impressive, and thus, blog-worthy.  I’m not sure how we managed to get so lucky with this particular health insurance company, but I sincerely hope that our employers don’t change insurance companies on us anytime soon!

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I started having contractions on September 19th at 4:30 in the morning. They woke me up, and did indeed feel like I was going to have a very strong bowel movement. I spent the next hour examining this new discomfort, and realizing that I could feel it about every 7 minutes. Around 5:30 I woke Zach up and told him I didn’t think he’d be going to work that day. He and I timed the contractions for another few hours, and I eventually called the hospital to let them know I would likely be in to see them sometime that morning. Around 9:30 am Zach and I went to the hospital. They checked me and said that my cervix had thinned, but I was only about 1 centimeter dilated, so I should go home and make myself comfortable and come back when the contractions were closer together. (On a side note, when we had timed the contractions at home, they were about 3 minutes apart. When we got to the hospital, they had slowed to 6 minutes apart – very strange…) So, I spent the rest of Tuesday hanging out with my sister and having contractions. Zach went to work for a while, and came home around 4:00 pm. About 7:30 pm we went back to the hospital. They checked me again – I was at about 3 cm dilated. They gave me some Ambien to sleep and sent me home. I slept until about 4:00 am on Wednesday, the 20th, and then went back to the hospital – to stay this time.

So, on Wednesday, after laboring for about 24 hours, I was admitted to the hospital. Some time that morning the pain got strong enough for me to ask for an IV drug (Nubane – it came highly recommended from other mothers, and it worked quite well for me). As the labor progressed (slowly), I received more IV drugs, and eventually those wore off, and the contractions were getting worse, so I asked for an epidural. The epidural they gave me also worked wonderfully, and was supposed to last about 2 hours. Just as the 2 hours was running out, my doctor decided that I was not progressing along fast enough, and had been at about the same dilation (8-9 cm) for the past several hours. So, they decided to give me Pictocin to help speed up the contractions, which also makes them more intense. After about an hour of excruciating contractions (since the epidural had worn off and the Pictocin kicked in), I still had not made any progress, so we decided to go ahead with a ceserian section. The doctor was willing to wait another hour or so to see if I progressed at all, but I was too exhausted (we were at hour 35 of the labor by then) and didn’t want to wait any longer.

So, they called together the surgical team, unhooked me from the monitors, and wheeled me downstairs to the operating room. I received my second epidural – this one made me entirely numb from the waist down) and then Zach and I sat behind a curtain while they cut me open and removed the baby – a boy We named him Alexander Grady, and are calling him Xander. Apparently Xander had been facing the wrong way – “sunny side up” and had refused to move into the birth canal, hence the c-section. At 6:39 pm on Wednesday September 20th Xander was born, after approximately 38 hours of labor. It was a very long few days, and an emotional rollercoaster for both Zach and myself, but as every day passes, and the discomfort from the c-section gets less, I am more and more pleased with the results, and I have no doubt that in the next few years Xander will have a sibling.

birth, cesarean, delivery, giving birth, infant, labor, pregnancy

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braxton hicks, contractions, full-term pregnancy, labor, pregnancy

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9 months, delivery, full term, labor, pregnancy, pregnant

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On the other hand, our friends Chris and Candi are getting married on the 23rd of September – 2 days after my due date. Zach is one of the groomsmen. I’m not sure if I’ll be able to go to the wedding if I have the baby early. If the baby stays in longer, then I can at least go and see them get married, and I’ve been looking forward to that. So, I want to have my cake and eat it too – I want to have the baby early so I can be done with this whole pregnancy thing, and I want to have the baby late so that I can celebrate with our friends… Either way, the countdown is on – the baby has up to one month to decide to come out on its own, or we’re going to have to cajole the baby out with some other method.

On a side note, I have been discussing contractions with mothers that I know. I noticed (a little belatedly) that everything I read described contractions as a tightening of your uterus, and sometimes metioned a “wave” feeling. As a new mother, I couldn’t really tell you what a tightening uterus feels like, and none of the books or websites have any better description. Even when you type “what does a contraction feel like” into google, you get all the same descriptions. So, for any mothers out there reading this, if you have any more detailed information about what a contraction feels like – something a little more specific than a “tightening uterus” that would be helpful!

38 weeks, braxton hicks, contraction, full term, labor, pregnancy

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A lot of the literature also talks about Braxton Hicks being “practice” – that the uterus contracts itself in preparation for upcoming actual labor. So, I haven’t had any Braxton Hicks contractions and now I’m starting to get worried – is my labor going to be more difficult if my uterus hasn’t been practicing since week 20 like some women?  What are the negative effects of not having Braxton Hicks contractions?  I heard of many women who actually want contractions, but I do!  I’m worried that if I don’t get them my body won’t be as prepared and I will in turn have a harder time.  Plus, they say that Braxton Hicks is a great time to practice your breathing and relaxation techniques that you learned in childbirth class, so I haven’t had the opportunity to do that either.  I’ve got a doctor’s appointment tomorrow, so hopefully he can shed some light on this rather confusing subject, and I’m hoping he’ll reassure me that it’s perfectly fine not to have Braxton Hicks.

pregnancy, labor, false labor, braxton hicks, contraction, contractions

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