Being Sara » infant

We Have A Biter…

Sara — Thu, 08 Apr 2010 19:34:08 +0000

Parker has always been our rough and tumble kid. He loves to wrestle. He loves to be tossed about. He loves anything that involves physical play. In our house, most of the time, this is ok. We separate the boys when Parker gets too physical. I put him down when he tries to hit me. We constantly remind him to be gentle, and show him gentle touches. But the kid just loves rough play. Last week at day care he chased another child. He pushed the child down (the kid’s head bumped a table) and then Parker when in for a bite. The teacher pulled Parker off of the other kid and reprimanded him. He, in his typical Parker fashion, melted and collapsed on the floor in tears. After the reprimand came the comforting and eventually they went back to playing normally.

After this, I asked the teacher what I should do. Her response was vague – he didn’t actually bite, so they didn’t have a “no biting” discussion. He’s not even 18 months yet, so lengthy discussions don’t work. I let her know I was open to any suggestions, that we were trying everything we could think of and would try anything anyone else could think of.

I asked my mother-in-law and sister-in-law what they thought. They have over 50 years of parenting experience combined, so I thought between all of the kids and grandkids maybe they would have come across this sort of situation before. My mother-in-law talked about a friend of the family who used to bite her older brother when she was little. Eventually the mother encouraged the boy to bite her back. He did, and the biting stopped. I thought that biting back wasn’t an approved solution, but I could be wrong. This wasn’t exactly biting back either, since it was the brother who bit, not a parent…

I asked our pediatrician. He said this behavior is normal, and that we should just keep doing what we’re doing.

Then last night Parker bit me. Hard. Hard enough to draw blood. We were playing on the floor after dinner. He was getting pretty rough, so I wrapped him in my arms and told him that hands were for hugs, not hitting. While I hugged him, he bit me. After I had pulled him off, and recovered from the surprise, I tried to explain to Parker that he hurt Mommy. That we don’t bite, etc. but he was too riled up to listen to any words coming out of my mouth.

So, anyone who happens to stumble across this blog: How do you teach a 15-month-old not to bite? Furthermore, how do you teach this particular 15-month-old boy to please, please be a little more gentle?

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What Would You Do?

Sara — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 19:02:38 +0000

Ok, confession time: I watch Private Practice. It’s a cheesy spin-off of Gray’s Anatomy. I can’t convince anyone else I know that it’s worth an hour of their time, but I faithfully tune in each week (or so). Most of the time, the cast is dealing with some rather depressing issues – infertility, abuse, death, etc. I sat down to watch the most recent episode last night and it was especially heart wrenching.

Spoiler alert – if you haven’t seen it and you want to, don’t read the rest of this post. The episode opens with a woman giving birth (not the gory stuff), but she isn’t interested in the baby, only in the baby’s cord blood. It turns out the couple has a pair of 8 year old daughters with leukemia and they need the cord blood to treat them. Unfortunately, the cord blood has a low cell count which means there is only enough to treat one of the girls.

This is of course Hollywood drama – the parents are then faced with the decision – which daughter do they save? The mother puts her foot down. She refuses to choose. If they can’t both live, then they both die. The show paints the mother as crazy, and cruel for not choosing to save at least one of her daughters. And I found myself sympathizing with her. In her shoes, I don’t think I could choose which child lived and which child didn’t. It’s the age-old Sophie’s Choice question. It kind of surprised me that the writer’s of the show weren’t more sympathetic to this woman’s position.

None of us can really know how we’d react in a similar situation unless we are actually faced with it. I know that much as I’d love to be the type who springs into action, my instinct is to freeze in the face of an emergency. I can only imagine that I would freeze, shut down, if faced with that sort of choice. The father in this episode did choose, sort of. He voiced his opinion, and a few minutes later (again with Hollywood drama) the daughter he chose to let go got too sick for the treatment. Watching them explain to the two sisters that one was going to live and one was going to die was most definitely a tear-jerker.

If nothing else, the story from this episode made me squeeze my children a little tighter and longer this morning and send a silent non to the Gods that everything is right in our little world, and that my kids are healthy, happy and safe.

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How Do You Spell….?

Sara — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 19:09:05 +0000

We have been living inside a spelling bee for several weeks now. My day starts sometimes as early as 5:30 with a whisper in my ear, “Mama, how do you spell ‘window’?” and if I don’t respond, “Mama, how do you spell ‘couch’?” and it’ll keep going until I start spelling. In the car on the way to work I hear “Mama, how do you spell ‘tree’?” and “Mama, how do you spell ‘back hoe’?” or my personal favorite, “Mama, how do you spell ‘Signwithredinit’?” and “Mama, how do you spell ‘somethingelse’?” And my favorite response – “Wow, that’s a weird word”

The worst part of the inescapable spelling bee is that I’m pretty sure Xander thinks we’re like seals. He asks and we perform. I’m not convinced that there is any sort of retention or learning going on when we spell. I think this because if you ask Xander to repeat what was just spelled, or even the first letter, he can’t (or won’t – not sure which) do it. Which then leaves me wondering at 8pm when I’m trying to get the little man to sleep and he’s asking me “Mama, how do you spell ‘bear’?” why do I keep going? I’m pretty sure it’s negative reinforcement, like when you pick up a phone to make it stop ringing, or pick up a tea kettle to get it to stop whistling. I wonder when (and how) we’ll get out of this never-ending spelling bee…

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What’s worse than a sick kid? Two sick kids…

Sara — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 21:06:53 +0000

I’m coming out of radio silence this week after juggling two rather sick boys for the week. It started last Sunday with two very cranky boys. We went for a drive to get out of the house – Xander of course needed to pee and for the first time ever, we got turned down when we asked to use a restroom. Where, you ask? The Campton Cupboard. They have zero sympathy for pee-pee dancing 3 year-olds, so don’t even try. Also, if you try to use the restroom in the Dunkin’ Donuts in Campton, be forewarned that it’s easier to pee outside than it is to try to skip in front of rude tourists in line.

Fast forward to several sleepless nights and two days home, first with Xander and then with Parker (who managed to catch another bout of RSV, complete with a 101.6 temperature and back onto nebulizer treatments). Parker is still waking up between 2:30 and 3:30 every morning for a few hours, and Xander is still crying every morning that he doesn’t feel good and doesn’t want to go to school (please note that by the time we arrive at school he is running to get inside and play with his friends, so we’re not taking those complaints too seriously).

Evenings have been EXHAUSTING. First, one kid will cry, and then before one of us can calm that one down, the other starts crying so we’ve had an almost constant flow of tears between the hours of 5pm and 8pm for the past 5 days. Yeah, I’m on my pity wagon – all are welcome! I’m hopeful that we’ll turn the corner this weekend and start to see more smiling and less crying.

Unfortunately, Xander has rediscovered his love of puzzles recently. He’s getting quite good at putting them together on his own. The biggest challenge is that Parker firmly believes that his primary role in our family is to pick up puzzle pieces and put them in boxes. He couldn’t care less if anyone else might have wanted to use that particular piece. This of course starts a great deal of arguments and the cycle continues until Parker goes to sleep. Ah, the joys of parenthood…

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An Excellent Reminder

Sara — Thu, 21 Jan 2010 12:00:09 +0000

I read quite a few different mommy blogs, and I get a little something out of each one – humor, kinship, understanding, respect, sympathy, etc. This mommy blogger has a pretty impressive story riddled with more ups and downs than I can even imagine. All of her posts are good reading, but this one in particular hit the nail on the head so to speak.

I’m gonna miss this…

It’s an excellent reminder about why we should be more patient with our children. I know that the day-to-day chores often raise my stress levels at the end of the day when I’m trying to juggle cleaning, cooking, bathing, bedtime, laundry and anything else that might come up along with cuddling, playing, refereeing, and trying to catch up with my husband on his day. But McMama’s words keep coming back to me, and lately I’ve been letting the chores wait for a bit while I enjoy a few more minutes with my kids. It doesn’t help with my stress levels later in the evening, but it sure is a whole lot more fun to enjoy my kids while they actually want me to spend time with them…

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I’m not entirely comfortable on this side of the fence…

Sara — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 20:58:49 +0000

Zach and I chose not to allow our children to receive the H1N1 vaccination this year. This decision was not made lightly. It involved lots and lots of discussion and even more research from both Zach and me. Normally we are both very much in favor of vaccinations. We agree with almost every vaccination offered to our children – measles, chicken pox, rotavirus, etc. However, we have decided that we’re not ready for H1N1. All of these other vaccinations have been through strenuous testing regimens. They were not rolled out in a speedy timeline and thrust upon the public in such a forceful manner. Millions of other people have already had these other vaccinations and side effects are well established. I’m not interested in using my children as one of the millions of potential “test subjects” for the H1N1 vaccine. I have yet to hear a logical explanation as to why H1N1 can not be rolled into the standard seasonal flu vaccination as so many other strains are. I’m not comfortable with the “get out of jail free card” issued to pharmaceutical companies producing the vaccination so that if anything does happen to go wrong, they are not legally liable. If H1N1 is a milder form of the flu, why the push to get vaccinated? Why is it every media report I hear about someone “dying from H1N1″ really turns out to be someone who had other medical complications and a strain of the flu just happened to be the straw that broke the camel’s back? The list goes on.

At any rate, this is a new and strange position for me. I’m not accustomed to being “that parent” – the one who refuses a vaccine. I acknowledge that this means my children might contract a mild strain of flu. I worry that this makes me an irresponsible community member because my child might infect another person. As a parent who is generally in favor of vaccines, it feels weird to be on the other side of the fence this time. It’s weird to say to our pediatricians, “yes, I understand, but no thank you, please do not give my child that shot.” We’re usually on the same page with our pediatricians, and generally follow most of their advice, but this time, we aren’t…

We’re on the other side of the fence in regards to H1N1 and it feels a little weird over here. How about you – did you and/or your children receive the H1N1 vaccine? Have you received any negative feedback for your decision?

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So Long 2009 and Thanks For All The Fish!

Sara — Fri, 01 Jan 2010 17:06:57 +0000

Apparently the general consensus is that 2009 sucked, and it won’t be difficult for 2010 to be a better year. Globally, I agree with that. The economy sucked, and still does. There was death, starvation, hardship and misery. However, my little family had an amazing year. While Parker was technically born in 2008, he really only spent a day and a half in 2008. In 2009 he had his first year of life. He learned to roll over, to crawl, to walk, to say mama and dada and cat, to smile and giggle and laugh. He learned how much he loved his family, and he learned to cuddle and play with us. Xander turned three. He learned to use a big boy potty. He gave up his binky and sleeps in his own bed. Both our boys slept through the night, at the same time (it doesn’t happen as frequently as we’d like yet, but we’re making progress!) I got a new job – benefited and with an awesome office. We sold our house, and found a pretty amazing house to purchase. Our extended family is happy, healthy and stable. Our friends also seem to be doing well.

We had our fair share of tough times in 2009 as well, but overall, it was a pretty amazing year and I’m sorry to see it go. I will never again have an infant. I will never again feel that joy and pride when said infant learns something new – I’ll have a similar feeling with my children continue to learn new things and surprise me as they grow, but I won’t ever watch one of my children take their first steps again, etc. I don’t want to forget that 2009 came and went. I will always remember it fondly as a year of firsts and lasts for our little family. So long 2009, and thanks for all the happy memories!

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365 Days – it sure flew by fast!

Sara — Wed, 30 Dec 2009 16:44:04 +0000

1 year old Parker

Last year on December 30th Zach and I got up before the sun (4am). I enjoyed my last shower for a few days, and then we grabbed our bag and drove about 3 blocks down the street to the hospital. When we arrived at the labor & delivery desk at 5am, they whisked me into a room and directly in to a johnny and then to bed where they stuck me with a few IV’s. We hung out and watched Parker’s movement on the fetal monitor for a while, and went through a few stacks of paperwork. Zach changed into some lovely maroon scrubs and at some point, I got my epidural. By 7:30am I was wheeled down to the operating room. I remember shivering a lot – first from the epidural, and then the cool temperature in the OR compounded the shaking. The very kind anesthesiologist tucked a warmed blanket around my head and shoulders while the rest of the operating team worked below my waist. I can remember a few tugs and pulls, and then wondering if they were going to make the incision soon, which is right when I first heard your little squeaky cry.

A few hours later, Zach and I were settled back in our room with the newest addition to our family, Parker Austin. Luckily, this time around, one of us knew how to breastfeed, so that process went a little more smoothly. Right from the start, you were Squeaky – you were the noisiest eater we had seen, and we chuckled over your little noises. You had lots of visitors that first day, and slept through nearly all of it. Your brother was so excited to meet you, and immediately insisted that we unswaddle you so that he could see your toes (I know, he’s got some strange ideas at times).

Eventually the visitors dwindled, and the three of us slept and relaxed for the rest of the day. The next few days in the hospital were pretty quiet and relaxed. You slept a lot, and I tried to sleep whenever possible. We tried to learn as much about your new personality as possible. We let you stay up to watch the ball drop on New Year’s Eve, but I told you that would be the last time in a long time that we’d allow it I finally let your Dad eat Thai food (during our pregnancy, I wouldn’t let anyone even have it in the same room with me – even the sight of the restaurant was enough to make me feel nauseous).

You have been a joy and delight every day since you were conceived. At the same time, you have challenged us in ways we could not have anticipated every day. You can be the best, happiest baby, and you have the most adorable smile that has only gotten cuter with the six teeth you have sprouted. On the other hand, you have very strong opinions, and are not shy about letting us know when you are irritated. Mostly, you get mad when we try to change your diaper (which sometimes takes two people – one to pin you down, and one to clean you up) or try to get you dressed – the cold winter has provided plenty of challenges for all of us – you can take mittens off almost as fast as we can put them on, and many days we skip them (assuming the weather isn’t too cold).

You are a wonderful sleeper. If you had been our first child, we might have considered having a whole litter. The first 6-8 months were rough, but now you’re amazing and we very much appreciate that (especially because your brother is still a rotten sleeper). You are also an excellent eater (not at all picky) which is refreshing. I’m sure you’ll develop your own picky tastes as you toddle into childhood, but for now we are enjoying the fact that you’ll eat pretty much all of whatever we put on your tray.

You learned to roll over at about 5 months. By 7 months you were scooting and then crawling. At 10 months you could stand for the briefest of seconds on your own, and started to cruise on furniture. You took your first steps in the middle of your 11th month, but you still prefer to crawl (oh man, you are the fastest crawler – it’s tough to keep up with you sometimes!)

You are a rough and tumble little boy. You love to tackle your brother, or anyone else who might be sitting or lying on the floor. You learned to crawl up the stairs at 9 months, but we are still too terrified to let you do it on your own, and your climbing back down skills are still a bit weak. In some ways, you can be just like your brother. In others, you are his antithesis, you are chaos where he is order. He has loved you from the beginning though, and the two of you are clearly friends. Xander does not like to go places without you, and even when offered a treat, he refuses if you can’t come. He always remembers to ask if you can have some of whatever he has, and he loves it when the two of you “match” – especially clothing (which personally, isn’t my thing, but I do indulge your brother from time to time). It is easy to see that you two will be the best of friends for years to come.

If I could only use one word to describe your first year, it would be bouncy. We’ve had lots of ups and downs with you (your weight, your sleeping pattern, your moods, etc.) and the one movement you have loved ever since you could hold your head steady is bouncing – if we could just hold you under your arms, you would jump and bounce happily for hours at a time (unfortunately, we have yet to meet anyone with the arm strength to keep up with that desire).

You are my youngest and last son. I love you more than words can describe. You are smart, strong willed and have brief but wonderful moments of tenderness. One of my favorite memories from 2009 will always be rocking quietly with you in front of the fire as you fall asleep and watching the snow slowly fall out the window. It was as close to perfection as I have gotten in a long time. I hope your first year was as wonderful for you as it was for us, and I know that this coming year will be just as amazing. Happy Birthday Peanut!

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Ahh… Sleep!

Sara — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 17:54:24 +0000

We are pretty much settled into our rental house now. Xander is sleeping in a queen size bed and across the hall Parker is in his crib. For the most part, we’ve been sleeping blissfully well. Parker has been sleeping straight through from 7:30/8:00pm to 6:30/7:00am without a peep! We have never been a “cry-it-out” family. This resulted in Xander sleeping in our bed until well into his second year. Parker has always slept in his crib, but I would often cuddle him to sleep and then put him down. Recently he’s been rather disagreeable about cuddling before sleep. So, a few nights ago I let him cry it out. It took 12 long minutes, but then he fell asleep. We tried this with Xander when he was a baby, but when Xander woke up it would be the middle of the night, and he wouldn’t stop until you picked him up, so we gave up pretty quickly. Last night after we read books, I tried to cuddle Parker for a few minutes but he would have none of it, so after lots of hugs and kisses I put him in his crib, covered him up and walked out. He squeaked maybe twice and then fell silent.

I feel like we’ve finally turned a corner when it comes to sleep in our house. Parker’s been sleeping great for almost 2 weeks now, and Xander has occasionally woken up, but most nights goes back to sleep quickly. Ahh… Sleep – it’s a wonderful, wonderful thing

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Done With Baby Food?

Sara — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 01:56:13 +0000

A few weeks ago I took Parker in for his 9 month checkup. While he has always been a pound or two smaller than his brother, we had never really worried about his size. Zach is long and lanky, and Parker seemed to have a similar body type. At the 6 month checkup, Parker was in the 36th percentile for weight (65th for height). His weight seemed to be doing a step sort of thing and not really staying on one curve, but there weren’t many plot points to really say that definitively. He seemed to gain quickly, and then level off and then gain quickly again. At 6 months he had leveled off a little, so I expected a bigger gain at his 9 month visit. Instead, he dropped off his curve. He dropped from 36th percentile to 18th! The nurse practitioner suggested that it was probably Parker’s increased activity. He went from being mostly stationary at 6 months to constant motion at 9 months. I hope that she’s right, but there is a little worried mommy part of my brain that can’t stop saying “what if it’s something more?” At this point, we’re just waiting to see how he gains in the next three months. So, we’ve been a little more focused on Parker’s eating habits lately. He’s always seemed to eat fine – 3 meals a day and bottles in between. Finger foods throughout the day as well. So I’ve been trying to convince him to eat a full jar of food (stage 3) at each meal and introducing more table foods than we had been before. Unfortunately, it appears that Parker has recently decided that he is no longer interested in baby food. He’ll eat about 2 bites and then he stops swallowing and letting the food slide out of his mouth. So now we’re trying to come up with foods that don’t come in baby jars but is still chewable and edible for our little guy. And most importantly, making sure that he’s eating nutritious food that helps him grow lots over the next three months!

Being Sara » infant

We Have A Biter…

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What Would You Do?

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How Do You Spell….?

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An Excellent Reminder

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I’m not entirely comfortable on this side of the fence…

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So Long 2009 and Thanks For All The Fish!

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365 Days – it sure flew by fast!

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Ahh… Sleep!

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Done With Baby Food?

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