He Never Looked Back
August 30, 2011
He never looked back
Today was Xander’s first day of kindergarten. We were prepared. We’d been to the open house, we’d toured and visited the school and had endless conversations with Xander about what to expect. We had plans for before and after school. Supplies were purchased, clothes were ironed, backpacks were packed, forms were completed. Last night near midnight though, I couldn’t stop the tears. My baby was going to get on a bus, go to a school where I do not know every child and every adult. He was going to spend his day with these people who barely knew him, and couldn’t possibly be prepared for his shyness. And I was sure his shyness would prevent him from making friends, or from letting his teacher see how smart he truly is.
But, as I should have learned by now, my kids continue to surprise me. Adding to my regular dose of motherhood guilt, I could not drop off or pick up Xander on his first day. Hurricane/Tropical Storm Irene threw off all of our plans, so PSU student move-in day landed on the same day as kindergarten started.
So, we jumped right into the regular routine. Zach took the boys to the bus stop, and waited with Xander. Parker was seriously unimpressed that Xander not only got to ride the school bus and he did not, but also that Xander was not walking into ‘school’ with him anymore. After bouncing around with his backpack, lunch box and friend, the bus arrived and they both walked right on – never looking back.
It was worse than pulling teeth, but after much begging, I finally got some details out of the close-lipped kid tonight. Riding the bus is his favorite part. Pretty much everything else pales in comparison to that. But, if he had to pick something he enjoyed most at school, that would be recess. And, if he had to pick something in his classroom that he liked the most, that would be the science station. He really wanted to play with the dinosaurs, but at free play only two kids are allowed at each station, and there were already two kids at the dinosaur station.
There were no tears and no complaints. He met all of his friends (his whole class) though he doesn’t yet remember anyone’s name. He has three other students who sit at his table (where his assigned seat is) but one girl is in the half day program, so she leaves early. One boy at his table got in trouble today for yelling at another kid (but not him) and had to sit at his table for two minutes. Rest time is nice, and Xander thinks I should ask my boss for a rest time at work. I’m sure that will go over well.
So, Xander is clearly more ready for kindergarten than I am. He went through the first day like it was nothing. I’m not sure I’m ready for day two, but he can’t wait to go back (and ride the bus again of course). Obviously not every day can be wonderful, but I am so incredibly relieve that the first day was.
Even though it took begging, pleading, lots of snuggles, endless practices and discussions about the big day, you did it (well, some of it). You participated in your preschool graduation to the very best of your ability (which consisted of signing the pledge of allegiance in tears, playing a drum nearly in tears and taking your diploma before retreating back to my lap). Despite your fear that the people you don’t know in the crowd won’t like you, you did the very best that you could and I’m proud of you for that.
“I do it self!” is a phrase that we hear in our house many times a day now. Parker, right on schedule, has decided to exert some independence on his life. Sometimes, it’s fine. When he woke up yesterday morning and wanted to walk down the stairs by himself, I watched from the bottom, complimenting him and telling him how big he’s gotten. His smile when he reached the bottom was worth the extra three minutes it took to wait for him. On the other hand, sometimes those exclamations are not really useful, like when he wants to take off his clothes. Thankfully, I got to stay downstairs working on dinner while Parker exclaimed no less than 12 times last night that he would put his diaper on himself. Luckily for Zach, Parker could not hear me chuckling in the kitchen or I’m sure he really would have hammed it up 
