Posts Tagged ‘development’
April 8, 2010
Parker has always been our rough and tumble kid. He loves to wrestle. He loves to be tossed about. He loves anything that involves physical play. In our house, most of the time, this is ok. We separate the boys when Parker gets too physical. I put him down when he tries to hit me. We constantly remind him to be gentle, and show him gentle touches. But the kid just loves rough play. Last week at day care he chased another child. He pushed the child down (the kid’s head bumped a table) and then Parker when in for a bite. The teacher pulled Parker off of the other kid and reprimanded him. He, in his typical Parker fashion, melted and collapsed on the floor in tears. After the reprimand came the comforting and eventually they went back to playing normally.
After this, I asked the teacher what I should do. Her response was vague – he didn’t actually bite, so they didn’t have a “no biting” discussion. He’s not even 18 months yet, so lengthy discussions don’t work. I let her know I was open to any suggestions, that we were trying everything we could think of and would try anything anyone else could think of.
I asked my mother-in-law and sister-in-law what they thought. They have over 50 years of parenting experience combined, so I thought between all of the kids and grandkids maybe they would have come across this sort of situation before. My mother-in-law talked about a friend of the family who used to bite her older brother when she was little. Eventually the mother encouraged the boy to bite her back. He did, and the biting stopped. I thought that biting back wasn’t an approved solution, but I could be wrong. This wasn’t exactly biting back either, since it was the brother who bit, not a parent…
I asked our pediatrician. He said this behavior is normal, and that we should just keep doing what we’re doing.
Then last night Parker bit me. Hard. Hard enough to draw blood. We were playing on the floor after dinner. He was getting pretty rough, so I wrapped him in my arms and told him that hands were for hugs, not hitting. While I hugged him, he bit me. After I had pulled him off, and recovered from the surprise, I tried to explain to Parker that he hurt Mommy. That we don’t bite, etc. but he was too riled up to listen to any words coming out of my mouth.
So, anyone who happens to stumble across this blog: How do you teach a 15-month-old not to bite? Furthermore, how do you teach this particular 15-month-old boy to please, please be a little more gentle?
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Posted in General Info | Tagged babies, Baby, baby development, bite, biter, biting, child, children, day care, development, developmental milestones, infant, infants, mom, mommy, mother, motherhood, mothering, mothers, parent, parenting, parents, toddler, working mom | 7 Comments »
March 2, 2010
Parker's current favorite: Cornelius P. Mud, Are You Ready For Bed?
Parker is in love with books. He show little interest in other toys at the moment and instead prefers to carry around a book – mostly any book will do. If he happens to see you wander by while he’s carrying a book, he beelines to you and holds up the book with this pleading look in his eye and only someone with superhuman strength can say “no, I can’t ready you that book right now” which means that we have been reading lots and lots of board books in our house lately. It’s adorably cute. We were thrilled when Xander reached this phase – for a long time the only “toys” we had in our living room was just a bookcase overflowing with all of his favorites. It’s great to get back here and have lots of cuddling and reading time with the little guy 
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Posted in General Info | Tagged babies, Baby, baby books, baby development, baby reading, book, books, children, development, developmental milestones, family, mom, mommy, mother, motherhood, mothering, mothers, parent, parenting, parents, read, reading, reading to baby, reading to kids, toddler, working mom | No Comments »
February 15, 2010
When Xander was this age:
He discovered the joys of wandering around while snacking. In Xander’s opinion, he always needed to have two of whatever he was eating – one in each hand. It was pretty cute to watch him toddling all over the house with a cheerio in each hand, and if he ate one, he’d come back for another – never satisfied being out of balance with just one hand filled.
Now this kid comes along:
He toddles around the house in a very similar manner as his brother. However, he’s taken this snacking while toddling thing one step further. Not only does he need a snack in each hand, but one in his mouth as well (don’t worry – we keep everything smaller than bit-sized to minimize choking risk). That’s my second son – he never does anything part way. I think “go big or go home” will someday be his motto… 
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Posted in Preschool Posts, Toddler Times | Tagged babies, Baby, baby development, baby steps, brothers, child, children, development, developmental milestones, family, mom, mommy, mother, motherhood, mothering, mothers, parent, parenting, parents, preschooler, snack, snacking, snacks, toddler, working mom | No Comments »
February 11, 2010
Each child has their own specific set of joys and challenges. I guess that’s what keeps us on our toes. With Xander, I sometimes worry that he is too sensitive, that he doesn’t stick up for himself and therefore it’s easier for him and his feelings to get trampled on. I was just getting used to this – to responding to Xander and encouraging him to be assertive where appropriate.
With Parker, it’s the exact opposite. Case in point: yesterday I arrived at day care to pick up the boys. I stopped to check in with Parker’s teacher, and while I was there, another little boy’s mother arrived. Parker was already in his coat and ready to go, but toddling around happily while I talked. When this mother help up her son’s coat to get him ready, he immediately laid face-down on the ground and began to cry. She and the teacher began discussing this new behavior of his while a little girl in the class helped the boy up off the floor. He continued to cry, but was standing. Parker toddled over with his arms out. I almost picked him up as he walked by, but he had his arms out like maybe he was going to hug this other little boy, so I let him go. What did he do you ask? He walked right up to this crying little boy with a big smile on his face and pushed him in the chest. I was mortified. I of course swooped Parker away and said “oh Parker, we don’t push, we hug” while demonstrating a hug. Parker may or may not have understood the lesson (I repeated it a few times) but it’s been sinking in with me for months. Our boy is rough and tumble through and through. He loves to push, pull, tug and hit. It doesn’t seem to matter how many times we remind him to be gentle or how many times we show him how to touch people gently. His first reaction is to hit. His behavior means that he is the child who is put into a pack ‘n play or a jump-a-roo to give the other kids in the room a break from him. Parker really believes that he is just playing, that his actions are all in fun, but of course they aren’t interpreted that way. We won’t give up, but this new kid with this new behavior is certainly proving to be a challenge for us!
How about the rest of you – do you have a hitter or a biter, and have you found any effective strategies in teaching them other methods of “playing”?
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Posted in General Info | Tagged babies, Baby, baby development, bullies, bully, bullying, child, children, day care, development, developmental milestones, family, mom, mommy, mother, motherhood, mothering, mothers, parent, parenting, parents, preschooler, toddler, working mom | 1 Comment »
February 8, 2010
We have been living inside a spelling bee for several weeks now. My day starts sometimes as early as 5:30 with a whisper in my ear, “Mama, how do you spell ‘window’?” and if I don’t respond, “Mama, how do you spell ‘couch’?” and it’ll keep going until I start spelling. In the car on the way to work I hear “Mama, how do you spell ‘tree’?” and “Mama, how do you spell ‘back hoe’?” or my personal favorite, “Mama, how do you spell ‘Signwithredinit’?” and “Mama, how do you spell ‘somethingelse’?” And my favorite response – “Wow, that’s a weird word”
The worst part of the inescapable spelling bee is that I’m pretty sure Xander thinks we’re like seals. He asks and we perform. I’m not convinced that there is any sort of retention or learning going on when we spell. I think this because if you ask Xander to repeat what was just spelled, or even the first letter, he can’t (or won’t – not sure which) do it. Which then leaves me wondering at 8pm when I’m trying to get the little man to sleep and he’s asking me “Mama, how do you spell ‘bear’?” why do I keep going? I’m pretty sure it’s negative reinforcement, like when you pick up a phone to make it stop ringing, or pick up a tea kettle to get it to stop whistling. I wonder when (and how) we’ll get out of this never-ending spelling bee…
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Posted in Preschool Posts | Tagged babies, Baby, baby development, baby talk, child, children, development, developmental milestones, family, infant, infant development, infants, learning, mom, mommy, motherhood, mothering, mothers, parent, parenting, parents, preschooler, spell, spelling, spelling bee, toddler, working mom | 1 Comment »
