Being Sara » development

My High and Low Kid

Sara — Wed, 05 Oct 2011 19:09:33 +0000

My first kid was pretty even tempered. Sure he had his moments, but he is pretty much the same relatively happy kid all the time. Parker on the other hand, is my high and low kid. He certainly makes things interesting!

High: Spontaneous ‘I love you Mama’

Low: Pulling out the 6th and last pair of clean underwear and pants for the day during potty training (and yes, the dryer has been broken for over a month…)

High: Excited exclamation from the back seat as Zach is driving past a speed reader “39! Mama, that’s 39!” (yep, the number on the reader was 39 – no clue how that happened…)

Low: Ear piercing screeching in public places while spread flat on his stomach (i.e. Olive Garden, Boston Museum of Science, etc…)

High: Happily playing with his brother for nearly an hour!

Low: REFUSING to let anyone except Mama comfort him (which is simultaneously sweet, but sad because this ‘phase’ has been lasting for over a year now…)

High: Getting closer to potty trained!

Low: Still going through 1-2 pair of underwear and pants every day (the shoes are slightly more problematic)

High: The mimicking is just so adorable ‘Have good dreams Parker’; ‘Have good dreams Mama’

Low: He figured out how to properly use the word nuts. ‘You drive me nuts Mama’ or (loud Parker sigh) ‘Them dinosaurs drive me nuts Xander’ (yep, it’s really tough to keep a straight face when he says this stuff)

High: Regardless of the day I’ve had, or the day he’s had, when I walk in the door at day care I am always greeted with a running hug and the biggest smile ever. Hand’s down one of the best parts of my day (who doesn’t love it when someone is happy to see you?)

He’s my high/low kid. The highs totally make the lows worth it and I wouldn’t want him to be any other way.

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He Never Looked Back

Sara — Wed, 31 Aug 2011 01:18:12 +0000

He never looked back

Today was Xander’s first day of kindergarten. We were prepared. We’d been to the open house, we’d toured and visited the school and had endless conversations with Xander about what to expect. We had plans for before and after school. Supplies were purchased, clothes were ironed, backpacks were packed, forms were completed. Last night near midnight though, I couldn’t stop the tears. My baby was going to get on a bus, go to a school where I do not know every child and every adult. He was going to spend his day with these people who barely knew him, and couldn’t possibly be prepared for his shyness. And I was sure his shyness would prevent him from making friends, or from letting his teacher see how smart he truly is.

But, as I should have learned by now, my kids continue to surprise me. Adding to my regular dose of motherhood guilt, I could not drop off or pick up Xander on his first day. Hurricane/Tropical Storm Irene threw off all of our plans, so PSU student move-in day landed on the same day as kindergarten started.

So, we jumped right into the regular routine. Zach took the boys to the bus stop, and waited with Xander. Parker was seriously unimpressed that Xander not only got to ride the school bus and he did not, but also that Xander was not walking into ‘school’ with him anymore. After bouncing around with his backpack, lunch box and friend, the bus arrived and they both walked right on – never looking back.

It was worse than pulling teeth, but after much begging, I finally got some details out of the close-lipped kid tonight. Riding the bus is his favorite part. Pretty much everything else pales in comparison to that. But, if he had to pick something he enjoyed most at school, that would be recess. And, if he had to pick something in his classroom that he liked the most, that would be the science station. He really wanted to play with the dinosaurs, but at free play only two kids are allowed at each station, and there were already two kids at the dinosaur station.

There were no tears and no complaints. He met all of his friends (his whole class) though he doesn’t yet remember anyone’s name. He has three other students who sit at his table (where his assigned seat is) but one girl is in the half day program, so she leaves early. One boy at his table got in trouble today for yelling at another kid (but not him) and had to sit at his table for two minutes. Rest time is nice, and Xander thinks I should ask my boss for a rest time at work. I’m sure that will go over well.

So, Xander is clearly more ready for kindergarten than I am. He went through the first day like it was nothing. I’m not sure I’m ready for day two, but he can’t wait to go back (and ride the bus again of course). Obviously not every day can be wonderful, but I am so incredibly relieve that the first day was.

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Happy 2.5 Birthday Peanut!

Sara — Tue, 09 Aug 2011 20:18:03 +0000

Just in case anyone reading this isn’t already aware, we celebrate Parker’s half birthdays. He was born at the end of December, and it’s not a great time for anyone to get together to celebrate a birthday when we’re all busy celebrating Christmas and New Year’s. We decided before his first birthday that we would acknowledge the day with a brunch for family, but not celebrate with a party or presents until the summer. It’s worked out well. Parker gets his special day, and he isn’t sad about it being in the summer instead of winter. We kind of like kicking off the summer with Parker’s party and then ending it with Xander’s party. This year Parker’s wasn’t really at the start of the summer, but we’ll get back into the swing of things next year.

So, we celebrated. Lots of people came and it was a great afternoon. Pretty hot, but not bad in the shade. Parker got his cake (which was really his primary focus for the day) and wound up with some really fun toys. He is finally getting to an age where he has friends that he likes to play with, and a few of them came – it was great to see him playing so well with them. Making this little boy happy was totally worth the 7+ hours of cleaning I did along with the 4-ish hours we drove to have a free day to clean, plus all of the hours in the hot sun Zach spent working in the yard. We always say parties are a good excuse to make sure your house is really clean…

He is a stereotypical two year old, fiercely independent one minute, and desperate to cling to my leg the next. His speech is getting better and better by the day, and the things he says are so freaking cute, most people can’t help but mimic everything he says – we’re guilty of it too, but if I were him, I’d be sick of people copying me by now… Just recently he’s been in to ‘singing’ his A,B,C’s but can only do it if he’s watching someone and mimicking them (oh, the irony). He can count to 16, but won’t do it anytime we want to show off his new skill of course. He tries his hardest to keep up with his older brother and manages to succeed most of the time. His imagination is phenomenal and he can play make believe with his brother for lengthy periods of time. I am still the favorite, but sometimes Dad can kiss a boo-boo. And he melts my heart every day when he calls out ‘I love you Mommy’ as I’m walking out the door. He doesn’t always make it easy, but I’m still head over heels in love with this little guy.

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“I Do It Self!!!”

Sara — Tue, 10 May 2011 14:32:15 +0000

“I do it self!” is a phrase that we hear in our house many times a day now. Parker, right on schedule, has decided to exert some independence on his life. Sometimes, it’s fine. When he woke up yesterday morning and wanted to walk down the stairs by himself, I watched from the bottom, complimenting him and telling him how big he’s gotten. His smile when he reached the bottom was worth the extra three minutes it took to wait for him. On the other hand, sometimes those exclamations are not really useful, like when he wants to take off his clothes. Thankfully, I got to stay downstairs working on dinner while Parker exclaimed no less than 12 times last night that he would put his diaper on himself. Luckily for Zach, Parker could not hear me chuckling in the kitchen or I’m sure he really would have hammed it up

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Words…

Sara — Thu, 06 May 2010 14:22:36 +0000

As I think some of our good friends could attest to, kids at Parker’s age are on the verge of finally talking. They want to talk. They know what they want to say, but they just can’t find the words to communicate with the world. And that is indescribably frustrating. Parker takes this frustration out on the wrong toy you hand him when he flings it to the ground, or flinging himself to the ground when you just won’t do what he wants you to do.

“If only he could talk” Zach will sometimes say. And we’ll wonder (and hope) that our son’s frustrations at the world will begin to abate as his ability to communicate improves. He’s got a few words now. He’s been able to say cat for ages. Of course Mama and Dada. He still hasn’t figured out any form of Xander or brother, but that will come. He learned “uh oh” from his best friend at school and like to use that one regularly.

This week Parker has figured out “go” and uses it all the time – usually while someone is holding him – he’ll gesture in the direction he wants and say “go”. Sometimes this works for him, and other times we tell him no (which drives him nuts).

He also can say “no” but usually when he says it, he means “yes” which can make for a rather confusing conversation if you’re not up on Parker lingo. He’s getting better at communicating, even non-verbally. These days he can walk up to you with a sippy cup and utter something entirely incomprehensible while holding up the cup and you say “oh, you’d like some more milk?” and take his cup, and now he won’t have a complete meltdown in the middle of the kitchen. He’ll just smile up at you and wait (somewhat) patiently for you to fulfill his request. Slowly but surely we’re making progress, and it’s making everyone in our house happier.

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We Have A Biter…

Sara — Thu, 08 Apr 2010 19:34:08 +0000

Parker has always been our rough and tumble kid. He loves to wrestle. He loves to be tossed about. He loves anything that involves physical play. In our house, most of the time, this is ok. We separate the boys when Parker gets too physical. I put him down when he tries to hit me. We constantly remind him to be gentle, and show him gentle touches. But the kid just loves rough play. Last week at day care he chased another child. He pushed the child down (the kid’s head bumped a table) and then Parker when in for a bite. The teacher pulled Parker off of the other kid and reprimanded him. He, in his typical Parker fashion, melted and collapsed on the floor in tears. After the reprimand came the comforting and eventually they went back to playing normally.

After this, I asked the teacher what I should do. Her response was vague – he didn’t actually bite, so they didn’t have a “no biting” discussion. He’s not even 18 months yet, so lengthy discussions don’t work. I let her know I was open to any suggestions, that we were trying everything we could think of and would try anything anyone else could think of.

I asked my mother-in-law and sister-in-law what they thought. They have over 50 years of parenting experience combined, so I thought between all of the kids and grandkids maybe they would have come across this sort of situation before. My mother-in-law talked about a friend of the family who used to bite her older brother when she was little. Eventually the mother encouraged the boy to bite her back. He did, and the biting stopped. I thought that biting back wasn’t an approved solution, but I could be wrong. This wasn’t exactly biting back either, since it was the brother who bit, not a parent…

I asked our pediatrician. He said this behavior is normal, and that we should just keep doing what we’re doing.

Then last night Parker bit me. Hard. Hard enough to draw blood. We were playing on the floor after dinner. He was getting pretty rough, so I wrapped him in my arms and told him that hands were for hugs, not hitting. While I hugged him, he bit me. After I had pulled him off, and recovered from the surprise, I tried to explain to Parker that he hurt Mommy. That we don’t bite, etc. but he was too riled up to listen to any words coming out of my mouth.

So, anyone who happens to stumble across this blog: How do you teach a 15-month-old not to bite? Furthermore, how do you teach this particular 15-month-old boy to please, please be a little more gentle?

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And the love of books begins again

Sara — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 19:53:40 +0000

Parker's current favorite: Cornelius P. Mud, Are You Ready For Bed?

Parker is in love with books. He show little interest in other toys at the moment and instead prefers to carry around a book – mostly any book will do. If he happens to see you wander by while he’s carrying a book, he beelines to you and holds up the book with this pleading look in his eye and only someone with superhuman strength can say “no, I can’t ready you that book right now” which means that we have been reading lots and lots of board books in our house lately. It’s adorably cute. We were thrilled when Xander reached this phase – for a long time the only “toys” we had in our living room was just a bookcase overflowing with all of his favorites. It’s great to get back here and have lots of cuddling and reading time with the little guy

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Similar, but oh so different

Sara — Mon, 15 Feb 2010 13:42:26 +0000

When Xander was this age:

He discovered the joys of wandering around while snacking. In Xander’s opinion, he always needed to have two of whatever he was eating – one in each hand. It was pretty cute to watch him toddling all over the house with a cheerio in each hand, and if he ate one, he’d come back for another – never satisfied being out of balance with just one hand filled.

Now this kid comes along:

He toddles around the house in a very similar manner as his brother. However, he’s taken this snacking while toddling thing one step further. Not only does he need a snack in each hand, but one in his mouth as well (don’t worry – we keep everything smaller than bit-sized to minimize choking risk). That’s my second son – he never does anything part way. I think “go big or go home” will someday be his motto…

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My Kid, the bully…

Sara — Thu, 11 Feb 2010 19:46:46 +0000

Each child has their own specific set of joys and challenges. I guess that’s what keeps us on our toes. With Xander, I sometimes worry that he is too sensitive, that he doesn’t stick up for himself and therefore it’s easier for him and his feelings to get trampled on. I was just getting used to this – to responding to Xander and encouraging him to be assertive where appropriate.

With Parker, it’s the exact opposite. Case in point: yesterday I arrived at day care to pick up the boys. I stopped to check in with Parker’s teacher, and while I was there, another little boy’s mother arrived. Parker was already in his coat and ready to go, but toddling around happily while I talked. When this mother help up her son’s coat to get him ready, he immediately laid face-down on the ground and began to cry. She and the teacher began discussing this new behavior of his while a little girl in the class helped the boy up off the floor. He continued to cry, but was standing. Parker toddled over with his arms out. I almost picked him up as he walked by, but he had his arms out like maybe he was going to hug this other little boy, so I let him go. What did he do you ask? He walked right up to this crying little boy with a big smile on his face and pushed him in the chest. I was mortified. I of course swooped Parker away and said “oh Parker, we don’t push, we hug” while demonstrating a hug. Parker may or may not have understood the lesson (I repeated it a few times) but it’s been sinking in with me for months. Our boy is rough and tumble through and through. He loves to push, pull, tug and hit. It doesn’t seem to matter how many times we remind him to be gentle or how many times we show him how to touch people gently. His first reaction is to hit. His behavior means that he is the child who is put into a pack ‘n play or a jump-a-roo to give the other kids in the room a break from him. Parker really believes that he is just playing, that his actions are all in fun, but of course they aren’t interpreted that way. We won’t give up, but this new kid with this new behavior is certainly proving to be a challenge for us!

How about the rest of you – do you have a hitter or a biter, and have you found any effective strategies in teaching them other methods of “playing”?

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How Do You Spell….?

Sara — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 19:09:05 +0000

We have been living inside a spelling bee for several weeks now. My day starts sometimes as early as 5:30 with a whisper in my ear, “Mama, how do you spell ‘window’?” and if I don’t respond, “Mama, how do you spell ‘couch’?” and it’ll keep going until I start spelling. In the car on the way to work I hear “Mama, how do you spell ‘tree’?” and “Mama, how do you spell ‘back hoe’?” or my personal favorite, “Mama, how do you spell ‘Signwithredinit’?” and “Mama, how do you spell ‘somethingelse’?” And my favorite response – “Wow, that’s a weird word”

The worst part of the inescapable spelling bee is that I’m pretty sure Xander thinks we’re like seals. He asks and we perform. I’m not convinced that there is any sort of retention or learning going on when we spell. I think this because if you ask Xander to repeat what was just spelled, or even the first letter, he can’t (or won’t – not sure which) do it. Which then leaves me wondering at 8pm when I’m trying to get the little man to sleep and he’s asking me “Mama, how do you spell ‘bear’?” why do I keep going? I’m pretty sure it’s negative reinforcement, like when you pick up a phone to make it stop ringing, or pick up a tea kettle to get it to stop whistling. I wonder when (and how) we’ll get out of this never-ending spelling bee…

Being Sara » development

My High and Low Kid

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