Love/Hate Relationship With Mud
March 24, 2010
Loves the mud until the fall, then hates the mud...
Posts Tagged ‘Baby’
And the love of books begins again
March 2, 2010
Parker's current favorite: Cornelius P. Mud, Are You Ready For Bed?
Parker is in love with books. He show little interest in other toys at the moment and instead prefers to carry around a book – mostly any book will do. If he happens to see you wander by while he’s carrying a book, he beelines to you and holds up the book with this pleading look in his eye and only someone with superhuman strength can say “no, I can’t ready you that book right now” which means that we have been reading lots and lots of board books in our house lately. It’s adorably cute. We were thrilled when Xander reached this phase – for a long time the only “toys” we had in our living room was just a bookcase overflowing with all of his favorites. It’s great to get back here and have lots of cuddling and reading time with the little guy 
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Similar, but oh so different
February 15, 2010When Xander was this age:
He discovered the joys of wandering around while snacking. In Xander’s opinion, he always needed to have two of whatever he was eating – one in each hand. It was pretty cute to watch him toddling all over the house with a cheerio in each hand, and if he ate one, he’d come back for another – never satisfied being out of balance with just one hand filled.
Now this kid comes along:
He toddles around the house in a very similar manner as his brother. However, he’s taken this snacking while toddling thing one step further. Not only does he need a snack in each hand, but one in his mouth as well (don’t worry – we keep everything smaller than bit-sized to minimize choking risk). That’s my second son – he never does anything part way. I think “go big or go home” will someday be his motto… 
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A little self examination…
February 12, 2010I think I might be a little too self-righteous when it comes to encroaching on family time. I have two recent examples:
Example one: An old friend was scheduled to come into town for a visit earlier this week. Plans had tentatively been made to meet up at a local bar/restaurant after work on Monday to catch up. The person making the plans was a little vague on the details, but since the location was family friendly, and I hadn’t seen this person in a long long time, Zach and I decided we’d be brave and have the kids tag along. So, Sunday night was full of preparation – I packed a diaper bag, and a bag of toys to hopefully keep the boys entertained. I prepared Xander for the following day’s plans. I carefully picked out clothing for school that wouldn’t accentuate the large amounts of food my kids manage to spill on themselves throughout the day. The next morning I packed a few remaining supplies – milk for Parker, a juice box for Xander, gummies for both of them. I continued mentioning Xander our plans for after school, and told him he could even have a “special” drink (a.k.a. shirley temple). 3pm rolls around, and I hear that plans have changed – they are no longer going to the family friendly location, but rather to one of the sketchier bars in town. Needless to say, there was no way I was bringing my kids to that bar. This made me so frustrated. Not only was I really looking forward to catching up with my old friend, but I had put so much effort into planning for the evening and I just knew tears would ensue when Xander found out we were not going to a restaurant and he would not have his special drink. I ended up sending off a short and rather snarky email – the location was shifted back and we all had a pleasant time visiting before the kidless crowd relocated themselves to the sketchier bar.
Example two: Wednesday night we arrived home at 5:30. At 5:40 Zach received an email from his boss with a request. After a follow-up to check the deadline, Zach learned that he had exactly one hour to finish the request. This threw our whole evening out of whack. My plans for a healthy meal – gone. My hope to help Xander with a thank-you note and Valentine’s Day Cards for school, not happening. Instead, I packed the boys back into the car (over many protests) and we drove to McDonald’s. We spent $12 for the three of us to eat fried crap and Xander to get a junky toy. An hour later, we drove back home (again). I understand that Zach’s job requires more than just 9-5 attention. I am completely supportive of his efforts to tweak scripts and research problems in the evenings and respond to emails nearly 24/7. What I couldn’t fathom was why Zach (and others in his office) had to drop everything from their evening routines to get a request done for 7pm on a Wednesday night. There was no 8pm meeting that I was aware of. And other than convenience for the boss to have some extra reading time, I couldn’t see any other logical explanation for the upheaval in our evening.
Twice this week my hackles have been raised by people without children failing to consider the massive amount of effort that goes into shifting plans or last minute requests. I feel like I’m being unreasonable – as one of my childless friends loves to remind me “kids are a choice” – and he’s completely right. I chose to have children, and I accept all of the responsibility and hassle that comes with that choice. But, I do get frustrated when others forget about the effort and hassle that I’m juggling.
Am I being unreasonable in expecting those without kids to remember the time and effort that goes into preparations for them? Should I just suck it up and continue juggling without complaint, or should I continue to remind people when they forget that it is more work and effort and some consideration is appreciated?
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My Kid, the bully…
February 11, 2010Each child has their own specific set of joys and challenges. I guess that’s what keeps us on our toes. With Xander, I sometimes worry that he is too sensitive, that he doesn’t stick up for himself and therefore it’s easier for him and his feelings to get trampled on. I was just getting used to this – to responding to Xander and encouraging him to be assertive where appropriate.
With Parker, it’s the exact opposite. Case in point: yesterday I arrived at day care to pick up the boys. I stopped to check in with Parker’s teacher, and while I was there, another little boy’s mother arrived. Parker was already in his coat and ready to go, but toddling around happily while I talked. When this mother help up her son’s coat to get him ready, he immediately laid face-down on the ground and began to cry. She and the teacher began discussing this new behavior of his while a little girl in the class helped the boy up off the floor. He continued to cry, but was standing. Parker toddled over with his arms out. I almost picked him up as he walked by, but he had his arms out like maybe he was going to hug this other little boy, so I let him go. What did he do you ask? He walked right up to this crying little boy with a big smile on his face and pushed him in the chest. I was mortified. I of course swooped Parker away and said “oh Parker, we don’t push, we hug” while demonstrating a hug. Parker may or may not have understood the lesson (I repeated it a few times) but it’s been sinking in with me for months. Our boy is rough and tumble through and through. He loves to push, pull, tug and hit. It doesn’t seem to matter how many times we remind him to be gentle or how many times we show him how to touch people gently. His first reaction is to hit. His behavior means that he is the child who is put into a pack ‘n play or a jump-a-roo to give the other kids in the room a break from him. Parker really believes that he is just playing, that his actions are all in fun, but of course they aren’t interpreted that way. We won’t give up, but this new kid with this new behavior is certainly proving to be a challenge for us!
How about the rest of you – do you have a hitter or a biter, and have you found any effective strategies in teaching them other methods of “playing”?
