Parker Week 20 – Done With Breastfeeding…
June 5, 2009
That’s it, no more breastfeeding for me. I think this time around there was more of a sense of finality about it, since I know I won’t have any more children, there will be no more breastfeeding in my future. With Xander, the decision was entirely his. He had completely given up on me just before he reached 6 months. I was a bit put out that I wasn’t involved in the decision-making process. However, once I got over myself, I discovered the wonderful freedom that comes from weaning.
This time around, I was more involved in the decision. Parker had already decided that he didn’t like to nurse at night – he preferred a bottle when he was that tired. He would nurse first thing in the morning, though it seemed more like he was humoring me, not because he actually wanted to nurse.
There were several factors that helped me make the decision. Most importantly, Parker’s increasing disinterest in nursing. I was continuing to pump in the middle of the day, but that was becoming increasingly difficult. Since I share an office with studen workers, I couldn’t exactly whip out my pump in my office in the middle of the day. There were sometimes free offices around lunch time that I could sneak into, but they were becoming frequently less available. Eventually I started kicking Zach out of his office for lunch time, but that wasn’t really convenient for him (though he was a good sport about it!).
Finally, I noticed that my milk production had reduced so much that I couldn’t even satisfy Parker for even one meal. Then it seemed silly to continue. He was getting what he needed from the formula, and the extra work involved in breastfeeding no longer outweighed the benefits.
About a week after I stopped breastfeeding we started Parker on solid foods, so now he is also finding nutrition from additional sources.
I’m comfortable with my decision. I think it was the right time for Parker and for me. I thought long and hard about it, and spent a lot of time considering my options. Unfortunately, I can’t shake my guilty feeling. I nursed Xander for nearly a month more than Parker. I know this is a little difference – insignificant in the grand scheme of things. But, I worry that this is a presecedent I’m setting for Parker – that “almost” is good enough for him where we went the extra mile for Xander. I want things to be equal, I don’t want to have differences in parenting decisions wherever possible.
