I don’t care who started it!

I think so far Zach and I have been fairly lucky in the sibling department.  In general Xander is an amazing big brother.  He is sweet, kind, patient and understanding.  He looks out for his brother and makes sure that if he gets something, his brother also gets the same thing (“Mama, can I have 3 strawberries?  Can my brother have 3 strawberries too?”)

But lately Xander hasn’t been such a push over.  In turn, there are arguments over almost everything in the house.  They argue over who gets the bigger toy snake or who gets the tiny green alien.  They argue over which books to read at bedtime and whose turn it is with the iPad.  It feels like our house is a battle zone every day.

I try not to intervene too early.  I try to let them work it out, which usually means I step in after someone has pushed someone else which mean that that someone else kicked someone, etc.  They are clearly not working things out well between themselves lately, and it’s exhausting playing referee.  I’ve resorted to preemptively picking who will go into time out next. “The next time I hear screaming, it’s Xander’s turn for time out” then I hear the “but he started it” which leads again and again to the “I don’t care who started it – you both need to stop now”.

Separating them works for short periods of time, but they are drawn to each other like magnets, and it only takes a few minutes for one to discover some fun toy, and the other one to immediately want it.  I’m not sure what changed in their normal playing behavior recently, but I seriously hope they get themselves figured out before we go on a two week vacation or I’m investing in some industrial strength ear plugs for myself.

One thought on “I don’t care who started it!”

  1. Hi Sara – good to see your posts again about the boys…this pic is fabulous of them on the table :) Keep ’em coming ~Katie

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