Being Sara

I can’t even remember the last time I posted something here. There are plenty of reasons – the same as many stale blogs, lack of inspiration, time and eventually guilt from being silent for so long. I’d like to get back into the swing of regular posts and the start of a new year seems like as good a time as any to make that attempt.

So, to recap, it was a busy year. Xander started kindergarten. Parker moved into the purple room at day care. We attempted potty training for about three months (the dryer was broken for two of those months. The word hellish comes to mind when I think back on it) but eventually decided to take a break when we reached a stalemate – he was fine with peeing in his pants as long as we changed him after. I was not fine with that arrangement. Parker turned three last week (the fact that my baby is now three could be an entirely separate post). Xander is learning to read which is super exciting for us. I’ve been at my current job for over a year now. I continue to love the day to day work and the interaction with college students but regularly the higher level politics provides new challenges and headaches that I long to ignore.

Parker has gotten into the habit of being my cheerleader. If I kill a bug for him or do well in a game we are playing he’ll tell me ‘good job mom!’ he also calls us mom and dad more than mommy and daddy lately. It sounds cute with his little voice but is slightly disconcerting.

We had a wonderful Christmas filled with friends and family and lots of time to play with the boys. On our last day of vacation we were lounging in our pajamas and watching Toy Story 3. In the beginning of the movie there are several flashbacks to the boy, Andy playing with his toys. Shortly into the montage, Xander pipes up and says ‘hey, he has all of the toy story toys’ after Zach and I stopped giggling we reminded him that we were actually watching toy story the movie… Kids…

So, we’re good. Looking forward to all that 2012 has in store, and hopefully finding time to blog again.

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My first kid was pretty even tempered.  Sure he had his moments, but he is pretty much the same relatively happy kid all the time.  Parker on the other hand, is my high and low kid.  He certainly makes things interesting!

High: Spontaneous ‘I love you Mama’

Low: Pulling out the 6th and last pair of clean underwear and pants for the day during potty training (and yes, the dryer has been broken for over a month…)

High: Excited exclamation from the back seat as Zach is driving past a speed reader “39! Mama, that’s 39!” (yep, the number on the reader was 39 – no clue how that happened…)

Low: Ear piercing screeching in public places while spread flat on his stomach (i.e. Olive Garden, Boston Museum of Science, etc…)

High: Happily playing with his brother for nearly an hour!

Low: REFUSING to let anyone except Mama comfort him (which is simultaneously sweet, but sad because this ‘phase’ has been lasting for over a year now…)

High: Getting closer to potty trained!

Low: Still going through 1-2 pair of underwear and pants every day (the shoes are slightly more problematic)

High: The mimicking is just so adorable ‘Have good dreams Parker’; ‘Have good dreams Mama’

Low: He figured out how to properly use the word nuts. ‘You drive me nuts Mama’ or (loud Parker sigh) ‘Them dinosaurs drive me nuts Xander’ (yep, it’s really tough to keep a straight face when he says this stuff)

High: Regardless of the day I’ve had, or the day he’s had, when I walk in the door at day care I am always greeted with a running hug and the biggest smile ever.  Hand’s down one of the best parts of my day (who doesn’t love it when someone is happy to see you?)

He’s my high/low kid.  The highs totally make the lows worth it and I wouldn’t want him to be any other way.

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I like to sleep.  I sleep pretty well when I don’t have small children climbing into my bed in the middle of the night.  I also like to eat foods that my kids don’t yet find appetizing.  I like to go out to dinner and a movie with my husband.  I like to close the door to the bathroom and keep it closed the whole time I’m in there.  I like it when my house stays picked up for more than an evening.  Sometimes I miss the days of sleeping in and eating what I wanted and the freedom to do things on my own schedule.  Sometimes I look forward to the days when my children will be self sufficient.  When they will be old enough to stay home alone, or to the days after they have moved out of our house and I find free time again.

The other day I told Xander when he was older he wouldn’t want to hang out with me, he’d choose to hang out with his friends instead.  Xander giggled, smiled and told me he’d always want to spend time with me because he loves me (duh Mom).

And then, things like this happen.  And last night when Xander crawled into my bed at 11:30pm saying he’d had a bad dream, I didn’t send him back to his bed.  I wrapped my arms around him and held him for the rest of the night.

When I drag my exhausted body out of bed at 5am so I’ll have enough time to make lunches and breakfasts and find clothes for everyone it feels like these days will never end, but I remember that soon enough I’ll be trying to drag my boys out of bed and frowning at the piles of smelly laundry on their floors.  I will think back to all of those nights where I held a sleeping child in my arms and miss the days that I sacrificed sleep or privacy or sanity for my babies.

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It’s been a while since I’ve blogged about this kid.  He is still head-over-heals in love with dinosaurs.  We talk about and learn about dinosaurs every day.  He teaches me new things every time the subject comes up (which is quite often).  He knows and understands the differences between Therapods, Sauropods, Prosauropods, Ceratopsians, Stegasaurs and more.  If you’ve got a question about dinosaurs let me know – I’m sure he’ll have an answer for you.

He loves to be in the water, and refuses to get out even after his teeth are chattering and his lips match his blue swim suit.  He is so close to having the confidence to swim unassisted – if only we had more time to spend in the water…

He is very excited about Kindergarten, but I’m not sure his mind has fully wrapped around the huge changes in his life happening in 4 short weeks…

He is still my shy guy, and takes a long time to warm up to strangers and still refuses to speak when people he doesn’t know are watching him.

He is however a very sweet brother and friend.

He is still planning to marry Katie and have four children with her, though the names keep changing.  He’ll give you answers to any questions about his future plans – the kid has their entire life planned out already.

Even though he’ll be 5 faster than I am ready for, he still likes to cuddle and will once-in-a-blue-moon wind up snuggled next to me in bed in the middle of the night.  When I ask him the next morning why he got in my bed, the answer is sometimes ‘I just needed some more cuddles Mama’  I am happy to accommodate that request any time.

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You did it  Even though it took begging, pleading, lots of snuggles, endless practices and discussions about the big day, you did it (well, some of it).  You participated in your preschool graduation to the very best of your ability (which consisted of signing the pledge of allegiance in tears, playing a drum nearly in tears and taking your diploma before retreating back to my lap).  Despite your fear that the people you don’t know in the crowd won’t like you, you did the very best that you could and I’m proud of you for that.

Your preschool must be one of the most fabulous preschools on earth.  The amount of effort and preparation the entire staff and students put into the event truly shows how much they care and love your class.  From the large framed picture of what you want to be when you grow up (a paleontologist of course) to the gift bag, to the book with personal messages from each of your teachers to the CD with pictures of your class throughout the 4 years you’ve been there – all amazingly wonderful.

You are also amazingly wonderful – and I’m not the only one who thinks that.  The evidence is in the book, where every message from your teacher refers to you as a sweet, kind, smart child who is happy to play with everyone.

Your current love/obsession is dinosaurs.  I’ve learned more about dinosaurs from you and trying to keep up with you than I ever thought I would want or need to know.

You are currently this wonderful mix of an adorably sweet little boy who thinks about dinosaurs about 90% of his day and a kid who is still little in a few ways.  You still like help getting dressed even though we all know that you can do it on your own and have been able to for years now.  Every few months you still wake up in the night and crawl into bed beside me, and I don’t make you leave because I cherish those cuddles – I know they will become more and more scarce in the coming years (although you can’t seem to believe that yet).

You know all of your letters and numbers and enjoy doing addition and subtraction on your hands.  You like to write, but some of your letters still give you a little trouble, and adding the extra tails to your small a’s and to the tops of your small n’s is still super cute, though I expect/hope that kindergarten will help you get those figured out.

I am so excited to see your next milestones – to see you play organized sports, to make new friends, to start at a new school in the fall and I have to keep reminding myself that despite your smarts and excitement, you are still the youngest child in your class and some of the things might be more of a challenge for you.  Don’t worry though, your father and I will be there to help, support and cheer you on the whole way.  It is bittersweet to see my squishy little baby shed his baby-ness and grow up.

Congratulations little man – we love you so very much!

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