Being Sara

At my last doctor’s visit, I learned that there are 6 women all scheduled for repeat c-sections within 1 week of me.  Apparently the end of December is a popular time of year to have a baby.  I don’t know if everyone is trying to get the tax write-off for 2008 (not the reason for our decision by the way).

When Xander was born, we had a wonderful experience with the hospital staff.  Our hospital is a relatively small regional one – only 4 post-delivery rooms, but that wing was entirely rebuilt (finished about 2 months before Xander was born) so everything is new and pretty high tech for our rural setting.  Aside from one nurse who was a little obsessive about rules on the maternity ward, they were all awesome.  The nurses were incredibly attentive.  One nurse who usually works in the ER spent the day with me while I was in labor (filling in a shift) and actually came up to check on me the next time she was working.  One of our doctors actually came in (with one of his kids) on his day off to check on me.  Overall, it was a great experience.  They were great with Xander – showed us everything a new parent might need to know, and they were always patient with us, never talked down to us, and truly seemed interested in our well-being.  It was such a great experience that a week or so later when I was feeling up to a walk, we bought them a gift basket of cookies and brought it to the hospital (I should mention that our house is less than a mile away from the hospital).

I think one of the factors in this positive experience was that we were the only ones in the maternity ward for 3 of the 4 days we were there.  The undivided attention was quite nice!  This time, if we’re lucky it’ll just be full and not over-full.

So now I’m nervous.  Not that I think the care will be any less amazing, but I don’t think that we’ll get the undivided attention that we got last time.  When they have the time, the nurses will keep the sleeping baby in the nursery, allowing mothers to get some much needed rest as well.  Again, this is only as time allows, so I suspect that this bonus feature will be offered far less during our upcoming stay.

I’m sure everything will work out just fine in the end – the baby will arrive, the doctors and nurses will give us great support, and we’ll go home a happy and slightly larger family.  But, that doesn’t stop me from wondering about what to expect when we arrive

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Zach and I have always wanted 2 children.  Not 3, not 4, not 1 – we want 2.  So after this baby is born, we’re done.  We’ve got the family that we want (and can afford) and we’ll be quite content with that.  So my doctor’s office offered to do a tubal ligation for me when I have my c-section at the end of December.  I said “um, sure…”  When I walked into the office, I hadn’t given it much thought – of course I would get my tubes tied, or Zach would have a vasectomy after this baby is born. The easiest time to do it is when I’m already open on the table – it just adds and extra five minutes to the procedure.  Since I’m already there, it’s the logical choice to make.

But then my overly worrisome imagination kicked in.  What if this baby has some sort of health problem?  I’m talking about something like Spina Bifida or Tay-sach’s disease that would severely limit the baby’s life.  It’s not that we wouldn’t love and care for this child the same as any other parent would love and care for a child, but his life would come to an end so much more quickly.  Five or ten years down the road, would Zach and I want to think about bringing another baby into the family, or would be accept the two that we had, and the fact that Xander would mostly be an only child growing up?

I can’t predict the future, and although every sign points to a normal, healthy pregnancy, there’s still that chance, and that annoying little voice in my mind that keeps saying “what if?” so when it comes to tubal ligation, I hesitate.  If my crystal ball could assure me that this next baby is going to be happy and healthy, then I’d sign the requisite forms for the operation tomorrow.  But without that assurance, I hesitate…

What would you do?

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I have finally reached my 3rd trimester.  Though when I look back at the previous two, it feels like it flew by.  With Xander, it felt like every day and every week took forever to arrive.  I was so excited to find out what the next development or the next milestone would be.  This time around I know what to expect.  I’m not reading “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” every week, and while I’m still reading a few weekly newsletters in my email, it’s mostly to make sure I’m feeling and expecting what I should be.  While some things like the first trimester “morning” sickness and exhaustion were much more intense this time, and I appreciated the comfort level in my second trimester a great deal more (especially knowing what was coming in the 3rd trimester), the length of time it’s taken to get here feels so much shorter.  I also feel like there are still a ton of things to do before we’re ready for the newest addition to the family.

Xander’s room needs to be painted and set up.  The nursery needs to be put back into nursery form.  I need to wash all of the old infant clothes and put them back in their appropriate drawers.  We need to put the new car seat into the car and get Xander accostumed to his new location behind the passenger seat.  I need to finalize a few more things at work, etc.  Each day I think of something else to add to the list.  I also feel like time is flying by faster than I can keep track of it this time around.  It’s not agonizingly slow like the last pregnancy, but there is that same sense of excitment at finally getting to meet the little guy – how much hair (if any) will he have?  What will his features look like?  Eventually, what color eyes will he have?  And most importantly, will he be healthy?  It won’t be too much longer before I have answers to all of those questions – and for that, I really can’t wait!

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Although I’ve been sworn to secrecy, Zach and I did finally settle on a name for this new baby.  And, someday if he reads this post, he’ll likely groan and moan, but it’s part of his story…

Several months ago I began pestering Zach with names.  Since we both spend a large majority of our days in front of computers, I would frequently gtalk him a name.  Sometimes he would respond, and sometimes he wouldn’t see it (or he was just completely ignoring me)

I didn’t get any positive responses until I faceciously suggested Marmaduke.  Zach jumped on this name immediately (of course…).  To give you some back story, last year we watched a tv show called Carpoolers.  It only lasted 1 season, and we didn’t watch it regularly, but it was funny and we enjoyed what we saw.  One of the characters was named Marmaduke.  He was the adult son of one of the main characters.  To say that he marched to the beat of a different drummer would be putting it mildly.  His character was entirely entertaining, but no one would ever want to name their child after him.

So, while the name debate continued, we referred to the newest edition as Marmaduke, or ‘Duke for short.  If people asked us about names, I would attempt to tell them “Marmaduke” with a straight face, but that never lasted long.  Some people come up with cute names for their growing bellies like “Bun” or “Bump” and we called ours ‘Duke…

While I permit the boy’s in-utero name to be Marmaduke, I insisted that this name could not be used one he exits the womb.  So, I continued to search through baby name sites.  I read through thousands and thousands of names.  I don’t really have a favorite baby name site – a simple google search will turn up more than you could imagine.  I ended up using BabyZone quite a bit, but that site frustrates me continually.  There are waaaay too many adds, the browsing feature doesn’t work all that great, and the interrupt advertisements nearly drove me to an entirely separate angry blog post.  What kept me going back was the “baby name basket” – I could add names to the basket, and then I had a running list.  Of course, when I went to print the list, I couldn’t find a “printer-friendly” version. so I ended up putting all the names into a word document – all that frustration for naught

I printed the list because that evening we happened to be driving to my in-law’s house, so I knew I would have Zach captive in the car for an hour and a half.  He tried in vain to thwart my plans, but I eventually convinced him to look at the lists I brought.  He narrowed down the list of 26 down to 4.  I spent a few miles trying out the names with various middle names.  I told him that 3 of the names were very similar, and I was having a hard time deciding which one I like the best out of the 3.  Then after a few more miles, I told him my order preference 1-4.  It turns out his order preference was the same.  “So that’s it” I said “We’re done”.  He replied “But, what if there’s a better name out there?”  To which I responded, “Feel free to keep searching, but unless you convince me otherwise, this is going to be the name on the birth certificate.”

The best part is that I’m really happy with the name.  I think it’s perfect, and I don’t think that Zach will manage to find any other name that we’re as excited about.  I would love to tell you what it is, but in learning from others experiences, Zach prefers to keep the name quiet until it’s already written in stone.  The plus to his plan is that no one gives us “the look” or the “oh…” response when we tell them.  Even if they have to fake it, they all pretend that they like the name   And, since everyone already knows we are having a boy, and knows the birth date, I guess it’s nice to keep at least one thing a surprise.

If you’re really curious about the name, check back on December 30th – I’ll already have the blog post written and ready to introduce our newest son to the world.

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When we had Xander, we were given a hand-me-down infant car seat to use.  It was a Graco seat, and came from a good family who I knew had never been in an accident.  The seat was still under warranty, and it was a relief to have one less thing to buy.  Well, now the car seat is outside of the warranty period, and since we have much less to purchase this time around, it was easy to justify buying a new car seat.

I did lots of research (as usual) and decided to buy the Chicco KeyFit 30 Infant Car Seat.  From all the reviews I could find, it sounded like this was a seat that everyone was happy with – ease, comfort and safety were all sighted as excellent features.  After I settled on this one, I searched around for the best price.  Amazon had it listed for $169.99 with free shipping (though as I write this post, I notice that it’s gone up to $179.99…).  I’ve always had great success with Amazon and it’s affiliates, so I didn’t give it another thought, I purchased the seat.  I planned on putting the seat in the car early – perhaps next month, so that it would give Xander some time to get accustomed to the change gradually.

I placed my order with an Amazon Merchant, LittleFolks, on September 30th.  On October 6th, a package from LittleFolks arrived.  I was excited to check out this new car seat, but when I opened the package, I noticed wheels.  I thought that was strange, most car seats don’t come with wheels…  Upon closer inspection, I discovered that Littlefolks had sent me a stroller, not a car seat.

It was just after 2pm, so I immediately emailed Littlefolks, explaining the mix up, and asked for some suggestions on how to return the stroller and get the car seat I ordered.  I never heard back from them.  The following morning, I researched them on Amazon.com.  They have a good seller rating and feedback.  There was a phone number listed, so I called.  The man I finally got on the phone took my name, and then told me that his computer was down, and I should call back in 10 minutes.  This was the first weird thing.  In my experience, the seller usually offers to call back once the equipment is back up and running, and doesn’t make the customer call back.  But ok, I can be agreeable for a while, I’ll call back in 10 minutes.

I call 10 minutes later, and I’m told they are still having computer trouble, but they finally are able to locate my information, and will call me back in “5-10 minutes”.  So I wait.  And wait.  And wait.  Finally, 2 hours after they were supposed to call, I call again.  I’m told they have contacted their shipping department and are trying to figure out who might have recieved my car seat, and whose stroller I have.  They tell me they’ll call when they have more information.

Finally, a few hours later, they call to tell me they’ve figured out where my car seat went to, and that they have arranged for UPS to pick up the stroller tomorrow.  Perhaps it’s just the pregnancy hormones making me this impatient, but I also think that Littlefolks could have handled me better.  If they had called me when they said they would, or reassured me that they would resolve the issue to my satisfaction as soon as they could, I would have been fine.  Instead, I had to keep calling and asking for information, and even then, they wouldn’t give me anything to go on.

I think once I finally recieve the car seat I’ll be very happy with it, and since Littlefolks did make arrangements so that I don’t have to bring the stroller anywhere, or pay for anything, I am happy with the resolution they provided.  I did remove my negative comment from Amazon, but I’m still slightly frustrated with the customer service they provided me.  Since I don’t have the option of updating feedback at Amazon, I decided the next best outlet was to blog about it – I can’t even compete with the traffic of Amazon feedback, but I know at least a few people will read about my experience here

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