Who Knew?
February 25, 2009Shortly before Parker arrived on the scene, I stumbled upon this post at Childfreedom. As I was 9 months pregnant, I thought stork spots were a pretty awesome idea. However, I’ve never actually seen a stork spot here in NH, so they were a new idea to me. I could sort of understand where the author was coming from – as one of my co-workers loves to regularly remind me “children are a choice”. He’s right, I did choose to have children, and I accept all of the trials and joys that come along with that.
I think what bothered me most about this post, and this site in general is that I had never realized that there was this whole population of people out there who not only choose to not have children, but are actually offended by people like me who choose to procreate. I can still recall my life before kids, and I don’t ever remember colliding with the kid friendly crowd when I didn’t want to. Aside from being irritated at parents who bring small children to adult movies (a topic which deserves its own rant), I can’t think of a time when a kid inconvenienced my lifestyle before I had my own kids.
I never thought of our society as “child-centric”. I think it’s pretty easy to avoid kids in places like bars, and late movies, grocery stores at the right time of day/week, etc. Even if you don’t want to actively avoid me and the rest of the kid-friendly crowd, I am very conscientious of my children in public – making sure they are not noisy or disruptive in adult situations, making sure they use their manners (well, I haven’t really started the 2-month-old one on manners yet – he still spits up on people without warning…) I guess I don’t like being stereo-typed. Sure, some parents probably do let their kids run wild, but there are at least an equal number of kids and parents who are nice, kind, polite people who do not belong in this category, and do not deserve the disdain this site doles out.
So, the stork spot post in particular, and this website in general really bothered me. What do you think – is this lady right, are the child-centric people encroaching on the child-free people of the world or is she unfairly stereo-typing families?
Update: I turned down the job offer from the high school. After a lot of thought, discussion, and even some helpful comments from some faithful readers, I decided that I didn’t really want to work there. Ultimately it came down to money, and the degree to which our lifestyle would have to change if I took that job. On top of that, I really do enjoy the job that I have, so the incentive to move wasn’t really there. I’m comfortable with my decision, and thank you to those who helped me decide!
Warning: This post is mostly a rant with not much educational value. If you’ve read any of my other posts, or personally know me, then you are aware that I work for DCYF. I was recently speaking with a client who implied that it was my responsibilty to help her. Despite my repeated attempts to explain to this person that my responsibility was to look out for children, not their parents, this individual did not seem to understand. It got me thinking back on several of the families that I have been involved with in the past. I realized that for quite a few families, at least one of the parents implied that it was my responibility to make sure they were safely parenting their children. So, I would like to know when it became my responsibility to clean houses, make sure that children are supervised while their parents go out partying, or pass out high on whatever drug they could get their hands on. When did it become my responsibility to make sure parents have housing and food. Since when did the responsibility for these basic necessities shift from being a parental responsibility to being a governmental responsibility? Of course it is my job to assist families, and to make referrals to community resources, but if parents are unable to follow through with these resources, or are unable to find a place to live or food to eat or figure out how to clean their houses, then they are at fault – I am tired of being blamed for parent’s irresponsibility. We all have to live up to expectations in life, and if we are unable to meet basic expectations, such as keeping our children safe, then we have to face the consequences. Just once I would like someone to say to me “yeah, it was my fault, I made some mistakes and my kid wasn’t safe, I’m sorry.” Some parents realize this throughout the course of a an on-going case, but I don’t handle those cases, so I never hear those statements. 
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