Photo taken with my iPhone this morning
I read an interesting article on Strollerderby yesterday by Ms. Judgey McJudgerton. Go ahead, check it out. I’ll wait.
I think my favorite quote is this
“Call me old-fashioned, but I’ve never liked watching children play with handheld devices in public.”
Which makes cell phone use sound like something dirty, that we should only do in the privacy of our own homes, and even then we should make sure the curtains are drawn.
Which then makes me think back on the eleven million times I’ve let both my 3-year-old and my 1-year-old sons use my iPhone. In fact, since both my husband and I have iPhones (yay family plan!) they can each have one which cuts down on the fighting over one device.
So when do I let my children use my phone? Well, Xander loves to scroll through the pictures when we’re driving in the car. This prompts conversations such as “wow, that’s Parker at Chuck E. Cheese! Hey Mama, do you remember when we went to Chuck E. Cheese? I want to show this picture to my friends! Oh, and this one! Oh and this one!” (and you can pretty much imagine how the conversation goes from there). I’d like to point out in this instance, my son is not “isolated from interacting with the people around him” but in fact, is actually using the phone as a means to engage me in conversation.
My 1-year-old likes to sit in my lap and listen to Little Red Hen or The Boy Who Cried Wolf read to him on the phone. He has also learned that when he’s done, he can press the one button on the phone to move onto a new activity, such as baby flash cards or the Wheels on the Bus song. He is a little too young to manipulate these stories or games on his own, but it provides me with some great cuddle time with my youngest who is generally much, much to busy to pause for cuddling. Again, my goal is not to isolate, but to entertain and engage. We are also big fans of using the phone while waiting in the doctor’s office. After the nurse leaves, and you’re stuck in that room that has nothing but a bed, a chair and a stool with a nervous 1-year-old, what do you do? I whip out my phone and distract him so he isn’t in tears by the time the doctor arrives, that’s what.
Ms. McJudgerton would be appalled to learn that we also own an iPad (an even larger device with which to isolate children – the horrors!) So what do the children do with the iPad? Well, Zach, Xander and I just last night finished reading all 10 chapters of Winnie the Pooh. Yep that’s right – my 3 year old son sits still to listen to a chapter of Winnie the Pooh every night before bed. He’s lucky if there is a single illustration on the page and yet he still listens and asks questions about the story which leads me to believe he actually retains at least some of the content. Yep, it’s awful the way I use technology to isolate my 3-year-old, I’m most definitely destroying his imagination.
But really, none of those examples were technically “in public” – they were in my car or in my home. The last time my child used a phone in “public” was last Friday night. Let me set the scene for you: my father-in-law’s and his brother’s birthday. The whole family is getting together at a steak house to wish them happy birthday. The restaurant is nice, so I attempt to be overly prepared with lots of snacks and entire bag full of toys the kids haven’t seen in a while. Unfortunately, due to our large party, the earliest reservation we could get (called early in the week) was 7pm. The one-year-old usually goes to sleep at 7:30, so this should be interesting. The week is filled with sleepless nights, runny noses, vomit and tears from all 4 family members. We’re all exhausted and mostly recovering from various illnesses. But, we rally and make it to the restaurant. We sit at 7pm, and order at 7:20 pm. By 7:30 pm I have been through every toy in the bag. We have exhausted Parker’s appetite for puffs and yogurt and milk. He doesn’t want to snuggle. Every adult in the room has attempted to cuddle, jiggle or walk with him. Other patrons are staring or glaring and sighing at us, and I’m not quite sure what to do with the poor guy. Finally, his cousin hands him her iPod touch with a drawing program on it. Parker and I sit and draw lines until his food arrives. I would be willing to bet that if Ms. McJudgerton had been sitting at the next table watching us, it would have been far more comfortable for her to watch my son and I draw quietly (he had already pitched the crayons and paper at my head so don’t offer me a low tech solution) than to listen to his ear-piercing screeches for another 20 minutes.
Yeah, I’m one of “those” parents. I share my technology with my children. I use it for entertainment and occasionally education and often as a chance to sit and play with my children. So Judgey McJudgerton can keep her “dumb” phone and be proud of her daughter’s ability to entertain herself (by the way, did I mention that Xander had a 15 minute imaginary conversation between two zipper pulls in the car the other day? Some days he doesn’t even need props for his imagination…) and I will continue to make use of the technology I have – and I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t judge me for it. Just because I let my kids use my phone doesn’t mean I’m a neglectful parent.
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So I got an email forward from my mother yesterday (pretty typical Wednesday) and I was going to clean it up and forward it to a few friends, but then I decided instead of cluttering up their inboxes, I’d post it here – hopefully they will all see it and maybe a few more. It is an email forward, so take it for what it is, but regardless, the message is good, and one I wish I remembered more often.