Baby Week 29 – To Tie or Not To Tie?
November 3, 2008
Zach and I have always wanted 2 children. Not 3, not 4, not 1 – we want 2. So after this baby is born, we’re done. We’ve got the family that we want (and can afford) and we’ll be quite content with that. So my doctor’s office offered to do a tubal ligation for me when I have my c-section at the end of December. I said “um, sure…” When I walked into the office, I hadn’t given it much thought – of course I would get my tubes tied, or Zach would have a vasectomy after this baby is born. The easiest time to do it is when I’m already open on the table – it just adds and extra five minutes to the procedure. Since I’m already there, it’s the logical choice to make.
But then my overly worrisome imagination kicked in. What if this baby has some sort of health problem? I’m talking about something like Spina Bifida or Tay-sach’s disease that would severely limit the baby’s life. It’s not that we wouldn’t love and care for this child the same as any other parent would love and care for a child, but his life would come to an end so much more quickly. Five or ten years down the road, would Zach and I want to think about bringing another baby into the family, or would be accept the two that we had, and the fact that Xander would mostly be an only child growing up?
I can’t predict the future, and although every sign points to a normal, healthy pregnancy, there’s still that chance, and that annoying little voice in my mind that keeps saying “what if?” so when it comes to tubal ligation, I hesitate. If my crystal ball could assure me that this next baby is going to be happy and healthy, then I’d sign the requisite forms for the operation tomorrow. But without that assurance, I hesitate…
What would you do?
Charlotte and I opted for a ParaGard IUD. No hormones, no surgery, took a few minutes to insert, lasts 10 years, removable at any time, covered by our insurance.
Might be worth reading about.
I think I’d agree with the previous commenter Sara and say that if there are any nagging doubts in your mind, go for something less permanent but that has considerably less hassle/expense than monthly birth control. I’ve also heard good things about the Mirena IUD. That being said, I also know of people who have had successful reversals of a tubal ligation, so even though it feels permanent, it isn’t necessarily really permanent. I know you will make the right decision for you and your family when the time comes. Love from Vegas!
I feel like I am going to get all personal and tell the world what kind of bc I am using but…..
I am afraid of the tubal ligation because of its permanence. I think beyond just whether your new baby is healthy is you cannot predict now, what your life will bring you or what your heart will tell you in the future. I have an IUD (a Mirena, like the previous poster mentioned). I paid $120 for it (with insurance), it lasts for 5 years, I don’t know it’s there and I don’t ever think about it (well, except right now). I can change my mind about more babies whenever I want and I am saving money on bc pills (which were $30 per month w/insurance). Having it put in was a little uncomfortable but I had it done 3 months after my daughter was born at a regular OB/GYN appointment. I think people should do whatever they feel is best for their family but I always think back on what I thought I wanted for my life 10 years ago and what I know I want now. They are very different things. How can you know what you will want in the future? Maybe you are more confident or sure of yourself than me but I just can’t make that kind of commitment!
I had heard several horror stories about the IUD, but it sounds like there are an equal amount of positive experiences out there as well. I certainly appreciate all of your advice – it’s quite logical, and I’ll definitely do some more research on alternatives (particularly IUD). And you’re right, if I’m not 100% certain, then tubal ligation probably isn’t the right choice for me. Thanks for the suggestions!!