Being Sara

If it’s not one thing, it’s another.  The Campaign for Safe Cosmetics released a study on baby shampoos.  It turns out that several major baby product companies use both formaldehyde and 1,4 dioxane to make their shampoos.  The EPA classifies formaldehyde as a “probable human carcinogen” and 1,4 dioxane as a “group B2 probable human carcinogen” (I have no idea what the “group B2″ stands for).  Either way, not only have we been feeding our kids carcinogens in bottles (BPA) but we’ve also been bathing them in it.  Great.

This article at Babble lists the products that tested positive for either chemical.  When I went down through the list, I discovered that we currently have in our house, or have recently used in the past the following cancer-causing shampoos on our kids:

• Aveeno Baby Soothing Relief Creamy Wash
• Equate Tearless Baby Wash
• Huggies Naturally Refreshing Cucumber & Green Tea Baby Wash
• Johnson’s Baby Shampoo
• Johnson’s Moisture Care Baby Wash
• Johnson’s Oatmeal Baby Wash – Vanilla (currently have a huge bottle of this at home…)
• Huggies Soft Skin – Shea Butter

There are a few Johnson’s and Huggies products that are not on this list, such as the Johnson’s Cucumber & Melon baby wash.  Does that mean that this one is ok?  The Huggies version of this product is on the list, why isn’t the Johnson’s version.  Is it “safe” or did it not get tested in the study?

The Babble article also includes a link to SuperEco which has a list of “safe” baby shampoos.  Of course, there is only one in that list that is sold within a 50 mile radius of me…  I’m pretty sure I could find Burt’s Bees organic shampoo if I looked around a bit.  At $9.00 a bottle, that’s a lot more than we currently pay for shampoo for anyone in our family.  Why is it that the safe, healthy stuff always has to cost more?  And why do these companies that we try to trust with our kid’s safety keep adding crap to their products that is so obviously unhealthy for everyone?

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As I was tucking Xander into bed last night, he told me that he wants to tell Leanne that she is his best friend. Leanne attends the same day care, but she’s a few years older than Xander (I think she’s 4). They play together often, and the staff has mentioned that Xander is the only one Leanne will share toys with, so I know they have a pretty good relationship (for preschoolers).

On the other hand, I know that girls can be fickle (and toddlers change their minds faster than their little legs can run), and that Leanne might already have a best friend or a group of friends that doesn’t include Xander.

This morning Xander was still intent on telling Leanne that she is his best friend, and he was disappointed when Leanne wasn’t in the room when we arrived at day care (he is usually one of the first kids there). But, she will arrive eventually, and Xander will get an chance to play with her at some point…

So today I have my fingers crossed that this pretty little 4 year old girl won’t crush my son’s cheerful spirit with a toss of her hair.

I didn’t think this kind of worry was supposed to start until much, much later – how do parents survive their kid’s potential heartache? This is awful, and in the grand scheme of things it’s really so insignificant. I just don’t know what I’ll do if Xander comes home in tears because Leanne doesn’t want to be his best friend. In my (not so humble) opinion, who wouldn’t want to be best friends with my kid?

I guess the only thing to do is keep my fingers crossed and hope that it all turns out well. Maybe Xander and Leanne will be best friends today, and next week maybe they’ll each find a new best friends – I can hope, right?

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As I’m sure many parents have been reading the past few months, BPA (Bisphenol A), has become a hot topic.  It’s really sort of old news now.  To sum up, BPA is a chemical found in lots of plastics and it’s bad.  Research has shown that we absorb most of the BPA in our systems through food (canned, tupperware containers, bottles, etc.)  Apparently BPA can hang around in your system for a long, long time and cause all sorts of scary problems.  The Wikipedia Entry on BPA is actually quite informative.

The flurry of talk about BPA started sometime last year when the CDC initially decided that the levels of BPA we Americans were injesting was safe.  About the same time, Canada decided to ban BPA from baby bottles.  More studies were done, more debate and discussion ensued.  In Connecticut and New Jersy Attorneys General asked the six biggest baby bottle manufactures to remove the chemical from baby bottles, and they agreed.  So, we (the US) are finally moving the in the right direction when it comes to BPA and baby bottles.

At one of our first check-up appointments for Parker, I asked our pediatrician about BPA-free bottles.  In his always relaxed manner, he said that the next time he is in the market for baby bottles, he will probably replace his current ones.  That seemed like sound logic to me, so I started searching for BPA-free bottles in preparation of the day we would introduce a bottle to Parker.  It turns out they aren’t easy to find in my area.  I ended up ordering the Avent bottles from Amazon.

At first, I was little weirded out by the slightly honey-colored tint the bottles have, but according to Avent, that’s how BPA-free bottles look, and now I don’t even notice it.  I think BPA-free bottles were the right choice for us, and I felt good about omitting this potentially hazardous chemical from my son’s meals.  Then my husband asked me about pacifiers.  We went through a lot of trouble to find BPA-free bottles, but what about things like pacifiers, teething rings and all those other things that Parker will eventually put into his mouth?  I removed BPA from the most frequent plastic thing he puts into his mouth right now, but will that matter in a few months when I can’t control everything going into his mouth?  Along those same lines, what about sippy cups?  Xander has an extensive collection of sippy cups and I’m sure all of them contain BPA.  Should we toss all of our sippy cups into the recycling bin and start over?  Would it make a difference now or is it too late already?  Amazon has some nice ones in stock, but it’s not cheap to start over…

So I continue to keep an eye on the news and the information about BPA.  Does it make a difference that we hand wash Parker’s bottles, and that he drinks formula cold, so his bottles never get to a temperature that should be high enough for the BPA to “leach” through?  What do you think?  Should I be the mom who eliminates all plastic toys from my house, and buys only wooden, lead free paint toys?  Or should I continue on the “wait and see” path, and assume (hope) that the steps we’ve taken so far are enough to keep our children healthy?

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Xander decided Parker needed "guys" to sleep with...

Sunday night and Monday night Parker slept through the night.  He didn’t wake up to eat in the middle of the night!  We fed him before we went to sleep (about 10pm) and then I woke him to eat in the morning (about 6am).  This is very encouraging and good timing, as this is Zach’s last week of paternity leave.  If Parker can keep up this schedule, we could all be getting a relatively solid night of sleep very soon!  Parker is a rather noisy sleeper – he grunts and squeaks his way through the night, which makes it difficult for me to sleep in the same room with him – I’m always waking up thinking he’s about to cry or fuss, even when he doesn’t.

With Xander and now with Parker, Zach or I have slept in the nursery with the baby while we were on maternity/paternity leave.  This meant that the baby got immediate attention in the middle of the night, and that whoever was working was able to get a full night’s rest.  With Xander, he continued to sleep in our room.  I’m hopeful that with Parker, we will soon be able to put him to sleep in the nursery by himself, and that he will sleep through the night on his own.  I know it’s a big step for a 2 month old, but his current sleeping habits have made me hopeful, so I’m keeping my fingers crossed…

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Xander showing off how big he is

I think parents often experiment with a variety of methods to convince their children to do things.  Sometimes we ask politely, other times we suggest, or attempt misdirection, or reverse psychology.  Sometimes “racing” (i.e. I’ll race you to the changing table, who can get there first?) and sometimes exaggeration or even a little white lie.  As Auntie Jenny mentioned, her mom used to tell her that the bath water was poisonous so that she would stop drinking it.

Our two-year old has some strong opinions on what is good food and what food he “can’t want”.  This has presented us with an interesting challenge – how to make sure he’s eaten more than a starving child in a third world country.  I’ve mentioned this in the past, and for the most part, Zach and I have taken a relaxed attitude – he eats, or he doesn’t, and we’re pretty sure he’ll eat enough to keep himself alive…

However, we recently discovered a nifty trick.  Xander is interested in growing bigger.  When we explained to him that eating a healthy dinner will help him grow bigger, he believed us.  Now after every meal , Xander asks us “I grow bigger?”  This is said in a gruff, growl voice, and he lifts his arms and shoulders to show us how much bigger he grew.  And, in our ongoing efforts to nourish our son, we perpetuate this belief and agree, “Yes!  I think you did grow bigger tonight!”  Or, if he didn’t eat enough to keep a sparrow alive, “Nope, you didn’t eat enough to grow bigger tonight…”  Most of the time, the incentive of growing bigger is enough to encourage him to eat an almost reasonable amount.

Unfortunately, Xander has translated this into the idea that everyone grows bigger when they eat, so when we’re done with dinner he says “Mama, you grew bigger!”  Which in my head makes me think, “Yep, my hips, my butt, my belly, all growing bigger – that’s just great…”  But my toddler can’t differentiate between taller and wider, so I simply smile and say “Yep, Mama ate all her dinner, so she gets to grow bigger too…”

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