Being Sara

For quite a few months Zach was Xander’s favorite parent. This actually went on for quite a few months - Zach was the favorite parent. I accepted this, and knew that Xander still loved me plenty, I just wasn’t the cool parent at the moment. Lots of people told me how kids would go through phases, but they usually made it sound like the phases lasted a few days or weeks, not as long as Xander’s preference had. Now finally though, the pendulum has shifted, and I’m the cool parent (wahoo!) Especially when it comes to cuddling or snuggling, he much prefers me for now. Xander also really likes to read books with me, but he’s not too picky about who to play with. Really, it depends on who is playing with the most entertaining toy at the moment. For example, if someone is playing with the computer, then Xander must help them compute (of course we couldn’t possibly do it well without his assistance!) If either one of us is cooking, Xander must help us cook (again, how could we manage to get that done without him?!?) I think sometimes it might hurt Zach’s feeling when Xander insists on snuggling with me - Zach loves to cuddle with his son too, but for now anyway, I’m the preferred snuggler, and I’ll take every moment I can get!

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When Xander was very young, Zach used to hold him on the couch and watch The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. For as long as we can remember, the sound of The Daily Show has been soothing to Xander - when he hears it, he will quiet down and listen - especially to the opening music.

I had read/heard that “excessive” television for children under the age of two alters the way their neurons fire in their brains. As a result, we have all but eliminated television from Xander’s daily routine. He’ll watch some on special occasions - as other family members houses, and sometimes in the late afternoons at day care. For the most part though, he doesn’t watch it, and rarely expresses any interest in it.

Recently however, we discovered a few shows on PBS that seem to be about Xander’s speed. Out of curiosity one day, we watched an episode of Curious George. Much to our surprise, our son (who up until this point never expressed interest in watching anything for more than a minute or two) loved it!

Although he’s still a few months shy of 1 1/2 years old, I decided that 1/2 an hour a day probably isn’t going to turn his brain to complete mush. Plus, it lets Zach and me unwind for a few minutes when we get home before we start with toys, books, dinner, bath, etc. Now, in the afternoons when we turn on Curious George, Xander squeaks with delight. This is one of the first characters that Xander has recognized. So much so that last weekend when shopping with his aunt (Mandy), Xander found a shirts with a Curious George logo and refused to let go. Mandy eventually bought the shirt for him. It’s a little too big, but he loves it…

After about 1 half hour show (2 adventures), Xander has had his fill. He gets down off my lap, and goes in search of toys. This makes me hope that my son won’t be a television addict, but I’m glad that we can relax together an enjoy this show. So Xander’s first official “favorite” character is Curious George - given his love of bananas and climbing, this seems somehow poetically appropriate.

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I think more than any other big moment for babies is their first word. This is something that is remembered for years to come, something that kids will inquire about (what was my first word?). What I never realized before is how difficult it is to say “that’s it - that’s his first word”. The problem is that it’s a gradual thing. So the sssss sound that he was making a few months ago gradually became shhhh and then a few weeks later turned into sho, and from there finally became a distinguishable “shoe”. And the “sat!” became “that!” became “dat!” became “cat!” Which one came first? At some point he started to say “Hieeeee” when he walked into a room. Mmmm became ma, ma, ma became “more” and all of these things happened around the same time. It wasn’t like one day Xander sat up and said a word - he practiced for a long time, and eventually we understood what he meant, and strangers may still not understand what is slowly becoming Xander-speak.

Once in a while he surprises us, like the morning after Zach’s grandmother’s funeral when Xander sat up in bed and said quite clearly “Are we dead?” to which we answered - “No…” and then Xander laid back down and continued on with his regular babble. It was a bit strange, but not something that he repeated.

This past weekend he said “Hi cat”. I started to worry a bit. Since none of these words could be picked out as a first word, and he won’t necessarily repeat them on demand, and maybe we were hearing and understanding at a level that not everyone would. At his 15 month check-up they discussed these concerns. Our doctor’s office of course told us that kids develop speech at their own pace, and that as long as Xander can string two words together at his 2 year checkup then he’ll be on track. So the “hi cat” from this weekend went a long way in alleviating my concerns. I think I’ll be able to relax and enjoy the words as they develop into their own Xander-speak. We’re getting there

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Xander is growing at a rate that he seems to be entirely comfortable with. I however, am often struck at how quickly he is growing. It feels like just yesterday we were laughing at his “Wallace hands”, or trying to convince him that rice cereal really does taste good. These days I have become a master of redirection. Let’s not play with the cat’s tail. Here, take this wooden spoon instead. Let’s not climb onto the end table. Let’s play with your Tonka trucks instead. And of course, the no’s. “Xander no” has become a regular part of our vocabulary. Xander, no - don’t hit the speaker. Xander, no - don’t pull the cat’s tail. Xander, no - don’t shake the plant, and on and on it goes.

It’s not all bad though. Xander has some very endearing traits as well. He gives excellent hugs, winding his little arms around our necks. When he’s sleeping he loves to borough into my neck. He likes to laugh, and will sometimes laugh just to make us laugh, which often works, and then all three of us end up giggling uncontrollably. Xander has discovered how to tickle bellies (though it’s often more of a pinch). If we are laying on the floor, he will immediately come over, try to lift your shirt, and “tickle” your belly. The attempt itself is so humorous that I laugh, even if it doesn’t really tickle. Xander loves books. If we sit cross-legged on the floor, he will frequently collect a book or two, back up into our laps, and hold out a book to be read. Xander also can be very particular about where things go. He may not always return them to their correct spot, but if he knows where it’s supposed to go, he often does. On his high chair tray, everything has a place. When he takes a sip of milk or juice, the cup needs to go back in the same location it was removed from. If I move the cup, he stops eating to put it back where it “belongs”. When he is done using his spoon, it has a spot (often at the top of his tray, just barely within his reach). It’s pretty interesting to see where he decides to place things, and try to figure out his thought process. Though I’ve been blowing raspberries on his stomach for over a year now, Xander finally finds this funny. I rarely fail to elicit a laugh (and often a tug on my hair) when I blow a raspberry on his bare belly.

Xander loves shoes - his shoes, my shoes, Zach’s shoes. Anything he can put on his feet. His very favorite is my blue slippers. Xander will take these off my feet so he can put them on and shuffle around the room - which he does quite frequently. He’s become pretty good at walking in them, or shuffling rather and we really need to try to get some video of this because it’s so funny to watch.

Then of course are the sounds and words Xander uses. We love the “ahhh” sound he makes after taking a drink of something or the “ohhhh” sound he makes if something falls or he drops something. He’s got a few words down - shoe (of course), cat, dog, mom, dad, more and occasionally Nan (for Nana). Every once in a while I feel the need to document all of these quirks about our son that makes him the engaging and lovable child that he is. We are so lucky!

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The day before Christmas Eve Xander learned to climb. This was nothing that we encouraged or even showed him how to do. Xander figured this out all on his own. He discovered that he is now tall enough to grip both sides, or depending on the height, the back rails of a chair. He also discovered that he has enough arm strength to pull himself up onto said chair.

This has become the source of endless entertainment. Not the sitting so much as the standing and dancing on the chair. This has caused the rest of the family to gasp and wince more times than I can count when he nearly falls off, or nearly tips a chair over.

Statistically, Xander could not continue climbing up on chairs without eventually falling down. Xander of course decided that Christmas day would be a good time for that. He managed to get himself up onto our couch, but the triumph didn’t last long. Shortly after he got up, he tumbled off, leaving a respectable cut on the side of the bridge of his nose. This was not enough for our little guy though. Less than an hour later, he was playing in the bathroom with Zach and Zach’s father (they were measuring walls to get an idea of how much trim we were going to need to purchase later in the week for our house project). Xander discovered a bottle of detergent on the floor and attempted to carry it away. It didn’t take long before he tripped (probably over his own feet) and his chin landed on the top of the bottle, scraping off the skin.

It looked worse than it probably was, but after the bleeding stopped, Xander had a managed to scrape all of the skin off his whole chin. He had perfectly timed these crashes to coincide with the Christmas Party we were headed to later that afternoon. This party would include all of the friends and family we had not seen since last Christmas, and in some cases, even longer. Mostly people had been asking about Xander, wanting to see him. My son, with his good timing, looked like he had been scuffling in the day care play ground for the day, rather than opening Christmas presents.

He was his usual adorable self, and even with bumps and bruises all over the place he was still the hit of the party, but how do they manage to time these things so perfectly? Xander now wants to climb everything - chairs, couches, tables - he attempted to climb his high chair this morning while I was wiping off the tray. That of course resulted in a crash, but luckily his bottom still has lots of padding on it I guess we’ll just have to spot him even more closely, and I’m hoping that the newness of this climbing thing will fade soon - my head can’t afford many more gray hairs!