Being Sara

You might have noticed a theme to this blog if you have read any other posts. I spend a great deal of time attempting to shed some light onto the Division for Children Youth & Families, and its practices. As a part of this attempt, I have been systematically refuting much of the claims made by Attorney Werme and her husband. Eric Werme recently commented on a post and informed me that the Tricks of the Trade page that I often use for material is actually his page, not his wife’s. Mr. Werme is a software engineer. His site explains that most of the information he has learned, he has observed from “state house hearings, etc.” I guess I never realized how much time is spent at the State House discussing DCYF’s practices.

At any rate, the Wermes have some interesting advise for families regarding your rights. They are actually partially correct this time. Individuals do not have to allow DCYF into their home. We usually ask politely, and are generally there to discuss the information received that concerns children. However, parents do not have to let us into their homes, and some do refuse. In those cases, our efforts to discern a child’s safety are somewhat hindered. If children are in public school, RSA 169-C allows us to interview children in schcool without the express permission of a parent. Our general practice is to speak to parents before interviewing children at school. Some parents have a valid concern regarding having their children interviewed at school, and we try to respect that. However, even if a parent refuses to cooperate, our job to assess a child’s safety remains. We will do what limited research we can without a parent’s cooperation. We are allowed to interview children at school, and to speak with school staff regarding any concerns. For families who do not want to invite DCYF into their homes, we also ask if they would be willing to meet with us at our office to discuss the safety concerns for their children. I imagine that the Wermes would say that DCYF is trying to lure a parent into their lair, where they have the home field advantage. This is not the case however. The meetings are generally one-on-one, or two, if both parents attend the meeting. This is an opportunity for the parents to find out what the concerns are, and to discuss these concerns with a worker. Attorneys are welcome to be present at these meetings if a family so chooses.

While the Wermes would have you believe that this is a secret that we do not let families in on, we do in fact provide every family with two pamphlets. The first outlines the assessment process and how it works. The second details a family’s rights - starting with their right to deny DCYF access to their home. Since we provide this information to families, usually during the initial visit, this is clearly not something that we are trying to keep a secret. It is true that for most families, a knock on the door by DCYF is strange and scary. We do however, make every attempt to keep the family aware of the process, what can happen, and what their rights are. The Wermes want everyone to believe that DCYF is set up as an adversarial system. Our priority is to keep children safe. That process almost always starts with helping a family to help themselves.

Paula Werme, Eric Werme, DCYF, child protection, child safety, family rights, division for children, youth and families

Yesterday I had the opportunity to see the Ansel Adams exhibit at the Boston Museum of Fine Arts. I have seen a few exhibits down there, some I have enjoyed and others that I was less impressed with. Ansel Adams now ranks in my all time favorites. Most people can easily recognize many of Adam’s black and white photography. What I enjoyed was learning more about the man behind the photograph. The photographs that Adams is most well-known for were not taken until much later in his career. He was greatly influenced by other photographers in his day, and four of them formed the “f/64″ club, named after the sharp imagery they strove to portray. It was not until this revelation in the 30’s that Adams began snapping some of the shots that are so familiar to us today. Most of his earlier work uses softer exposures and they look more like pen and ink drawings than the do photographs. It was also amazing to see the range of Adam’s work. As a casual observer, when I thought of Ansel Adams, I thought of his beautiful black and white landscape photography. In this exhibit I had the opportunity to see everything from landscapes throughout the West to protraits of Pueblo Indians to close up shots of kitchen utensils. Adams sometimes took commercial jobs to supplement his income. While these photographs were taken with the specific goal as an advertisement, they are now proudly displayed as artwork in the MFA. Ansel Adams had a fascinating life, starting out homeschooled, then deciding he wanted to be a professional musician, and then finally giving into his passion, photography. With so many of his photographs on display in one place, it becomes easy to see how Adams changed and grew throughout his lifetime. This was an excellent exhibit that will be on display at the MFA through December 31. I would encourage anyone who has the free time (and money) to make the trip - it is well worth the expense.

ansel adams, mfa, museum of fine arts, photography, black and white photography, art, exhibits of art

Zach and I met with the other doctor in our practice this week.  He looked through our chart and said the ultrasound looked good, so it sounds like there won’t be a new one for us.  This news was entirely disappointing, since that means we most likely won’t know the sex of the baby until it comes out.  As someone who needs to have everything in her life planned, this is pretty challenging for me.  Not that I can’t buy plenty of gender neutral things, but it would be nice to narrow down some names, and maybe pick up something pink and frilly or cute and blue, but I will unfortunately have to wait a few months for that surprise.  We also didn’t get the results of the Down syndrome and spina bifida testing that I had done last month, so we still don’t know if the baby will have a higher risk of having either disease.  I had resolved not to worry until I needed to, but I was also hoping to have the results back by now.  If the probabilities are high, then we will likely schedule an amniocentesis test.  Though this increases the risk of miscarriage, it will tell us much more definitively one way or the other if either illness is something to worry about.  On the plus side, an amniocentesis can also definitively tell us the sex.   

 I’m still feeling pretty good, which is a positive, though my round ligaments have been rather sore lately.  For those of you lucky enough to not know anything about round ligaments, those are the ligaments that hold up your uterus.  As things start to stretch and expand, so do your ligaments.  One generally feels the pain along your bikini line.  It is a relief to know that this pain is normal, but it doesn’t make it any less uncomfortable.  I would like to think that maybe my ligaments will stop stretching soon, but I have a feeling that is just wishful thinking on my part.  If you want to read more on round ligaments, the Baby Center has a good article.

I don’t know how many times I’ve seen a flag at half staff and wondered what we are supposed to be mourning. In this discussion with Zach, Jenny and Casey, I found a website dedicated to world flags and flag poles - Peterson Flags. This site offers a free service to send you an email notification for official orders to fly flags at half staff. For those of us who fly American flags, this seems to be a pretty useful service.

flag, half staff, half mast, american flag

Warning: This post is mostly a rant with not much educational value. If you’ve read any of my other posts, or personally know me, then you are aware that I work for DCYF. I was recently speaking with a client who implied that it was my responsibilty to help her. Despite my repeated attempts to explain to this person that my responsibility was to look out for children, not their parents, this individual did not seem to understand. It got me thinking back on several of the families that I have been involved with in the past. I realized that for quite a few families, at least one of the parents implied that it was my responibility to make sure they were safely parenting their children. So, I would like to know when it became my responsibility to clean houses, make sure that children are supervised while their parents go out partying, or pass out high on whatever drug they could get their hands on. When did it become my responsibility to make sure parents have housing and food. Since when did the responsibility for these basic necessities shift from being a parental responsibility to being a governmental responsibility? Of course it is my job to assist families, and to make referrals to community resources, but if parents are unable to follow through with these resources, or are unable to find a place to live or food to eat or figure out how to clean their houses, then they are at fault - I am tired of being blamed for parent’s irresponsibility. We all have to live up to expectations in life, and if we are unable to meet basic expectations, such as keeping our children safe, then we have to face the consequences. Just once I would like someone to say to me “yeah, it was my fault, I made some mistakes and my kid wasn’t safe, I’m sorry.” Some parents realize this throughout the course of a an on-going case, but I don’t handle those cases, so I never hear those statements.

responsibility, child protection, child safety, parental responsibility, expectations, DCYF