Being Sara

I like to sleep.  I sleep pretty well when I don’t have small children climbing into my bed in the middle of the night.  I also like to eat foods that my kids don’t yet find appetizing.  I like to go out to dinner and a movie with my husband.  I like to close the door to the bathroom and keep it closed the whole time I’m in there.  I like it when my house stays picked up for more than an evening.  Sometimes I miss the days of sleeping in and eating what I wanted and the freedom to do things on my own schedule.  Sometimes I look forward to the days when my children will be self sufficient.  When they will be old enough to stay home alone, or to the days after they have moved out of our house and I find free time again.

The other day I told Xander when he was older he wouldn’t want to hang out with me, he’d choose to hang out with his friends instead.  Xander giggled, smiled and told me he’d always want to spend time with me because he loves me (duh Mom).

And then, things like this happen.  And last night when Xander crawled into my bed at 11:30pm saying he’d had a bad dream, I didn’t send him back to his bed.  I wrapped my arms around him and held him for the rest of the night.

When I drag my exhausted body out of bed at 5am so I’ll have enough time to make lunches and breakfasts and find clothes for everyone it feels like these days will never end, but I remember that soon enough I’ll be trying to drag my boys out of bed and frowning at the piles of smelly laundry on their floors.  I will think back to all of those nights where I held a sleeping child in my arms and miss the days that I sacrificed sleep or privacy or sanity for my babies.

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He never looked back

Today was Xander’s first day of kindergarten.  We were prepared.  We’d been to the open house, we’d toured and visited the school and had endless conversations with Xander about what to expect.  We had plans for before and after school.  Supplies were purchased, clothes were ironed, backpacks were packed, forms were completed.  Last night near midnight though, I couldn’t stop the tears.  My baby was going to get on a bus, go to a school where I do not know every child and every adult.  He was going to spend his day with these people who barely knew him, and couldn’t possibly be prepared for his shyness.  And I was sure his shyness would prevent him from making friends, or from letting his teacher see how smart he truly is.

But, as I should have learned by now, my kids continue to surprise me.  Adding to my regular dose of motherhood guilt, I could not drop off or pick up Xander on his first day.  Hurricane/Tropical Storm Irene threw off all of our plans, so PSU student move-in day landed on the same day as kindergarten started.

So, we jumped right into the regular routine.  Zach took the boys to the bus stop, and waited with Xander.  Parker was seriously unimpressed that Xander not only got to ride the school bus and he did not, but also that Xander was not walking into ‘school’ with him anymore.  After bouncing around with his backpack, lunch box and friend, the bus arrived and they both walked right on – never looking back.

It was worse than pulling teeth, but after much begging, I finally got some details out of the close-lipped kid tonight.  Riding the bus is his favorite part.  Pretty much everything else pales in comparison to that.  But, if he had to pick something he enjoyed most at school, that would be recess.  And, if he had to pick something in his classroom that he liked the most, that would be the science station.  He really wanted to play with the dinosaurs, but at free play only two kids are allowed at each station, and there were already two kids at the dinosaur station.

There were no tears and no complaints.  He met all of his friends (his whole class) though he doesn’t yet remember anyone’s name.  He has three other students who sit at his table (where his assigned seat is) but one girl is in the half day program, so she leaves early.  One boy at his table got in trouble today for yelling at another kid (but not him) and had to sit at his table for two minutes.  Rest time is nice, and Xander thinks I should ask my boss for a rest time at work.  I’m sure that will go over well.

So, Xander is clearly more ready for kindergarten than I am.  He went through the first day like it was nothing.  I’m not sure I’m ready for day two, but he can’t wait to go back (and ride the bus again of course).  Obviously not every day can be wonderful, but I am so incredibly relieve that the first day was.

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Just in case anyone reading this isn’t already aware, we celebrate Parker’s half birthdays.  He was born at the end of December, and it’s not a great time for anyone to get together to celebrate a birthday when we’re all busy celebrating Christmas and New Year’s.  We decided before his first birthday that we would acknowledge the day with a brunch for family, but not celebrate with a party or presents until the summer.  It’s worked out well.  Parker gets his special day, and he isn’t sad about it being in the summer instead of winter.  We kind of like kicking off the summer with Parker’s party and then ending it with Xander’s party.  This year Parker’s wasn’t really at the start of the summer, but we’ll get back into the swing of things next year.

So, we celebrated.  Lots of people came and it was a great afternoon.  Pretty hot, but not bad in the shade.  Parker got his cake (which was really his primary focus for the day) and wound up with some really fun toys.  He is finally getting to an age where he has friends that he likes to play with, and a few of them came – it was great to see him playing so well with them.  Making this little boy happy was totally worth the 7+ hours of cleaning I did along with the 4-ish hours we drove to have a free day to clean, plus all of the hours in the hot sun Zach spent working in the yard.  We always say parties are a good excuse to make sure your house is really clean…

He is a stereotypical two year old, fiercely independent one minute, and desperate to cling to my leg the next.  His speech is getting better and better by the day, and the things he says are so freaking cute, most people can’t help but mimic everything he says – we’re guilty of it too, but if I were him, I’d be sick of people copying me by now…  Just recently he’s been in to ‘singing’ his A,B,C’s but can only do it if he’s watching someone and mimicking them (oh, the irony).  He can count to 16, but won’t do it anytime we want to show off his new skill of course.  He tries his hardest to keep up with his older brother and manages to succeed most of the time.  His imagination is phenomenal and he can play make believe with his brother for lengthy periods of time.  I am still the favorite, but sometimes Dad can kiss a boo-boo.  And he melts my heart every day when he calls out ‘I love you Mommy’ as I’m walking out the door.  He doesn’t always make it easy, but I’m still head over heels in love with this little guy.

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It’s been a while since I’ve blogged about this kid.  He is still head-over-heals in love with dinosaurs.  We talk about and learn about dinosaurs every day.  He teaches me new things every time the subject comes up (which is quite often).  He knows and understands the differences between Therapods, Sauropods, Prosauropods, Ceratopsians, Stegasaurs and more.  If you’ve got a question about dinosaurs let me know – I’m sure he’ll have an answer for you.

He loves to be in the water, and refuses to get out even after his teeth are chattering and his lips match his blue swim suit.  He is so close to having the confidence to swim unassisted – if only we had more time to spend in the water…

He is very excited about Kindergarten, but I’m not sure his mind has fully wrapped around the huge changes in his life happening in 4 short weeks…

He is still my shy guy, and takes a long time to warm up to strangers and still refuses to speak when people he doesn’t know are watching him.

He is however a very sweet brother and friend.

He is still planning to marry Katie and have four children with her, though the names keep changing.  He’ll give you answers to any questions about his future plans – the kid has their entire life planned out already.

Even though he’ll be 5 faster than I am ready for, he still likes to cuddle and will once-in-a-blue-moon wind up snuggled next to me in bed in the middle of the night.  When I ask him the next morning why he got in my bed, the answer is sometimes ‘I just needed some more cuddles Mama’  I am happy to accommodate that request any time.

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