January 27, 2012

To the Parents/Guardian of:

Alexander

(address here)

We’re sorry we missed you!

Your provider, Dr. So-and-so, has asked us to schedule an appointment for you with the Ophthalmology Department at Dartmouth-Hitchcock in Lebanon, New Hampshire.

We’ve left several messages for you at the phone number we were given, but we haven’t heard from you.  Now we think you may not want this appointment, so we won’t try calling you again.

However, if you would like an appointment after all, please call us at —– weekdays between 8:00 a.m. and 5:00 p.m., and any of our schedulers can help you.

We look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,

The Staff of the Connection Center

sal

CC: Joe So-and-so, MD

______________________________________________________________________________________

So, I put the following letter into the mail this morning:

February 2, 2012

Dear Staff of the Connection Center,

My provider, Dr. So-and-so asked you to schedule an appointment for my son, Alexander with the Opthalmology Department at Dartmouth-Hitchcock in Lebanon, New Hampshire.  You left me several messages.

I did not return your phone calls.  To be more specific, I called you four times.  My son Alexander had his 5th year annual exam on Monday, September 26th.  The following day Dr. So-and-so made the referral for Xander to your office.  On Wednesday, September 28th, I called your office to confirm that you had received the referral.  The office assistant informed me that you had received the referral, but that the calendar had not yet ‘opened up’ to book the appointment and I would likely hear from you next month.

So I waited.  On October 26th, I called again.  The office assistant informed me that the calendar had not yet ‘opened up’ and that they had just finished booking the referrals from August, so I should hear back from your office next month.

So I waited some more.  On November 16th, I called your office again.  Once again, the office assistant informed me that the calendar had not yet ‘opened up ‘ for January, but I should hear from someone soon.

So I waited some more.  On December 15th, I called again.  This time the office assistant I spoke with was new.  She was not familiar with the referral process, but offered to transfer me to another office assistant who was apparently at lunch, but she assured me I would receive a call back that afternoon.

On Wednesday, December 21st, I still had not received a return phone call.  So to review, I called your office once a month for four months.  Each time, I was told the calendar was not yet ‘open’.  Finally, after the fourth month, I felt a little silly.  My son is in a full day kindergarten program.  He is active and busy all day every day.  If his vision was a problem, I decided I could no longer wait for a calendar to open up.  I called Dr. So-and-so’s office and asked for a new referral.  One of the nurses gave me some names and numbers of a few offices in the area.  I called a local optometrist and booked an appointment for the very next day.

Dr. Eyes was wonderful with Xander.  I could not have been more pleased with the exam and the service we received through his office.  Ultimately I decided my son’s needs were better met by someone who could actually take the time to see him.  Your office blew me off for four months before finally getting around to calling me.  Dr. Eyes’ office scheduled an appointment for my son the day after I called.  It turns out Xander’s vision is 20/30.  Nothing to worry about this year, and we will return to Dr. Eyes’ office again next year for a follow up.

I appreciate your note, but I definitely do not need your assistance and will not be calling to set up an appointment.

Sincerely,

Sara
The Parent/Guardian of: Alexander

CC: Joe So-and-so, MD

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I worked my butt of and despite an unexpected snow day school cancellation I managed to get Zach half a day home on his own for his birthday.  We met up with his family for lunch at Chili’s and then Nana and Grandpa took the boys for the night.  Zach and I saw Girl With The Dragon Tattoo that evening (Great book and movie and on a funny side note, when I told Xander the title of the movie we were seeing his only question was ‘what color is the tattoo?’)

It turns out having the boys out of the house on the 23rd was awesome.  We got home early enough to clean and do Christmas preparation (stuff stockings, build toys, set out presents, etc.)  So on the 24th, we had very little to do before heading out to get the boys and get our Christmas on.  We spent the 24th with my family and had a great time – with plenty of time built in the play with the boys and their new toys.  We finally arrived home at 10pm on the 24th, but didn’t have to do all the Christmas prep (yay!)

The boys slept until 7:30 on Christmas day (win!) and celebrated the occasion with all of the excitement and joy that we all love to see from small children.  We opened our stockings and had some breakfast drinks (coffee/tea for adults, milk for kids) before Nana and Grandpa arrived.  Then we got down to some serious unwrapping.  That lasted us nearly two hours, and the house was filled with toys and discarded wrapping paper.  Some quick clean up and lunch, and then the cousins and aunt/uncle arrived.

Our 4th Christmas in two days commenced and the wrapping paper flew again.  We picked up and played and drank tea and ate and visited well into the evening.  That night we all collapsed, exhausted but thoroughly satisfied with the day.

The 26th we relaxed a bit before heading out to a princess birthday party.  I realized that I am the mother of two boys, and my idea of an ideal princess party these days is to invite the brother of the birthday girl over to my house to play with dinosaurs or toy guns.  But, the birthday girl had a wonderful time, and that was the important part.

I don’t think we got out of our pajamas on the 27th, but we did clean the house a bit in preparation of the 28th.  On Wednesday the family came back up to the house for Parker’s birthday breakfast.  Our house is big, but it turns out we really need a table that can fit 14 people+ people.  Thankfully, we all like each other, and getting cozy wasn’t a problem.

More relaxation, and then we spent a night with Nana and Grandpa so that on the 30th the girls (Mother-in-law, sister-in-law and two nieces) could make a trip to the Yankee Candle Factory.  We left about 10am, and spent the day browsing candles at both Yankee and Kringle factories.  The girls (12 and 13 now) talked us into going to the Deerfield mall ‘on the way back’.  Oh man were my feet sore by the time we left (I was so happy to find $5 fake Uggs at the Christmas Tree Shop!) but we had lots of fun without the boys for the day.  It was late when we arrived home, so we stayed another night with Nana and Grandpa.

New Year’s was a quiet event this year.  We spent a few hours at a friend’s house, visiting, and trying to keep the boys from destroying his place.  About 9pm we went home, and after tucking the boys into bed, rang in the New Year watching Friday Night Lights and playing The Old Republic (depending on your perspective).

Amazingly, the boys got along pretty well the whole week.  Zach and I had fun playing with them, and managed to get in some good quality time with each boy.  And when vacation was done, I was actually sad to return to work and not be home playing with the boys anymore.  So that was Christmas.  It was busy, and exhausting and kind of expensive, and fun, and silly, and happy and overall wonderful.

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So, to recap, it was a busy year. Xander started kindergarten. Parker moved into the purple room at day care. We attempted potty training for about three months (the dryer was broken for two of those months. The word hellish comes to mind when I think back on it) but eventually decided to take a break when we reached a stalemate – he was fine with peeing in his pants as long as we changed him after. I was not fine with that arrangement. Parker turned three last week (the fact that my baby is now three could be an entirely separate post). Xander is learning to read which is super exciting for us. I’ve been at my current job for over a year now. I continue to love the day to day work and the interaction with college students but regularly the higher level politics provides new challenges and headaches that I long to ignore.

Parker has gotten into the habit of being my cheerleader. If I kill a bug for him or do well in a game we are playing he’ll tell me ‘good job mom!’ he also calls us mom and dad more than mommy and daddy lately. It sounds cute with his little voice but is slightly disconcerting.

We had a wonderful Christmas filled with friends and family and lots of time to play with the boys. On our last day of vacation we were lounging in our pajamas and watching Toy Story 3. In the beginning of the movie there are several flashbacks to the boy, Andy playing with his toys. Shortly into the montage, Xander pipes up and says ‘hey, he has all of the toy story toys’ after Zach and I stopped giggling we reminded him that we were actually watching toy story the movie… Kids…

So, we’re good. Looking forward to all that 2012 has in store, and hopefully finding time to blog again.

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High: Spontaneous ‘I love you Mama’

Low: Pulling out the 6th and last pair of clean underwear and pants for the day during potty training (and yes, the dryer has been broken for over a month…)

High: Excited exclamation from the back seat as Zach is driving past a speed reader “39! Mama, that’s 39!” (yep, the number on the reader was 39 – no clue how that happened…)

Low: Ear piercing screeching in public places while spread flat on his stomach (i.e. Olive Garden, Boston Museum of Science, etc…)

High: Happily playing with his brother for nearly an hour!

Low: REFUSING to let anyone except Mama comfort him (which is simultaneously sweet, but sad because this ‘phase’ has been lasting for over a year now…)

High: Getting closer to potty trained!

Low: Still going through 1-2 pair of underwear and pants every day (the shoes are slightly more problematic)

High: The mimicking is just so adorable ‘Have good dreams Parker’; ‘Have good dreams Mama’

Low: He figured out how to properly use the word nuts. ‘You drive me nuts Mama’ or (loud Parker sigh) ‘Them dinosaurs drive me nuts Xander’ (yep, it’s really tough to keep a straight face when he says this stuff)

High: Regardless of the day I’ve had, or the day he’s had, when I walk in the door at day care I am always greeted with a running hug and the biggest smile ever.  Hand’s down one of the best parts of my day (who doesn’t love it when someone is happy to see you?)

He’s my high/low kid.  The highs totally make the lows worth it and I wouldn’t want him to be any other way.

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The other day I told Xander when he was older he wouldn’t want to hang out with me, he’d choose to hang out with his friends instead.  Xander giggled, smiled and told me he’d always want to spend time with me because he loves me (duh Mom).

And then, things like this happen.  And last night when Xander crawled into my bed at 11:30pm saying he’d had a bad dream, I didn’t send him back to his bed.  I wrapped my arms around him and held him for the rest of the night.

When I drag my exhausted body out of bed at 5am so I’ll have enough time to make lunches and breakfasts and find clothes for everyone it feels like these days will never end, but I remember that soon enough I’ll be trying to drag my boys out of bed and frowning at the piles of smelly laundry on their floors.  I will think back to all of those nights where I held a sleeping child in my arms and miss the days that I sacrificed sleep or privacy or sanity for my babies.

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He never looked back

Today was Xander’s first day of kindergarten.  We were prepared.  We’d been to the open house, we’d toured and visited the school and had endless conversations with Xander about what to expect.  We had plans for before and after school.  Supplies were purchased, clothes were ironed, backpacks were packed, forms were completed.  Last night near midnight though, I couldn’t stop the tears.  My baby was going to get on a bus, go to a school where I do not know every child and every adult.  He was going to spend his day with these people who barely knew him, and couldn’t possibly be prepared for his shyness.  And I was sure his shyness would prevent him from making friends, or from letting his teacher see how smart he truly is.

But, as I should have learned by now, my kids continue to surprise me.  Adding to my regular dose of motherhood guilt, I could not drop off or pick up Xander on his first day.  Hurricane/Tropical Storm Irene threw off all of our plans, so PSU student move-in day landed on the same day as kindergarten started.

So, we jumped right into the regular routine.  Zach took the boys to the bus stop, and waited with Xander.  Parker was seriously unimpressed that Xander not only got to ride the school bus and he did not, but also that Xander was not walking into ‘school’ with him anymore.  After bouncing around with his backpack, lunch box and friend, the bus arrived and they both walked right on – never looking back.

It was worse than pulling teeth, but after much begging, I finally got some details out of the close-lipped kid tonight.  Riding the bus is his favorite part.  Pretty much everything else pales in comparison to that.  But, if he had to pick something he enjoyed most at school, that would be recess.  And, if he had to pick something in his classroom that he liked the most, that would be the science station.  He really wanted to play with the dinosaurs, but at free play only two kids are allowed at each station, and there were already two kids at the dinosaur station.

There were no tears and no complaints.  He met all of his friends (his whole class) though he doesn’t yet remember anyone’s name.  He has three other students who sit at his table (where his assigned seat is) but one girl is in the half day program, so she leaves early.  One boy at his table got in trouble today for yelling at another kid (but not him) and had to sit at his table for two minutes.  Rest time is nice, and Xander thinks I should ask my boss for a rest time at work.  I’m sure that will go over well.

So, Xander is clearly more ready for kindergarten than I am.  He went through the first day like it was nothing.  I’m not sure I’m ready for day two, but he can’t wait to go back (and ride the bus again of course).  Obviously not every day can be wonderful, but I am so incredibly relieve that the first day was.

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So, we celebrated.  Lots of people came and it was a great afternoon.  Pretty hot, but not bad in the shade.  Parker got his cake (which was really his primary focus for the day) and wound up with some really fun toys.  He is finally getting to an age where he has friends that he likes to play with, and a few of them came – it was great to see him playing so well with them.  Making this little boy happy was totally worth the 7+ hours of cleaning I did along with the 4-ish hours we drove to have a free day to clean, plus all of the hours in the hot sun Zach spent working in the yard.  We always say parties are a good excuse to make sure your house is really clean…

He is a stereotypical two year old, fiercely independent one minute, and desperate to cling to my leg the next.  His speech is getting better and better by the day, and the things he says are so freaking cute, most people can’t help but mimic everything he says – we’re guilty of it too, but if I were him, I’d be sick of people copying me by now…  Just recently he’s been in to ‘singing’ his A,B,C’s but can only do it if he’s watching someone and mimicking them (oh, the irony).  He can count to 16, but won’t do it anytime we want to show off his new skill of course.  He tries his hardest to keep up with his older brother and manages to succeed most of the time.  His imagination is phenomenal and he can play make believe with his brother for lengthy periods of time.  I am still the favorite, but sometimes Dad can kiss a boo-boo.  And he melts my heart every day when he calls out ‘I love you Mommy’ as I’m walking out the door.  He doesn’t always make it easy, but I’m still head over heels in love with this little guy.

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He loves to be in the water, and refuses to get out even after his teeth are chattering and his lips match his blue swim suit.  He is so close to having the confidence to swim unassisted – if only we had more time to spend in the water…

He is very excited about Kindergarten, but I’m not sure his mind has fully wrapped around the huge changes in his life happening in 4 short weeks…

He is still my shy guy, and takes a long time to warm up to strangers and still refuses to speak when people he doesn’t know are watching him.

He is however a very sweet brother and friend.

He is still planning to marry Katie and have four children with her, though the names keep changing.  He’ll give you answers to any questions about his future plans – the kid has their entire life planned out already.

Even though he’ll be 5 faster than I am ready for, he still likes to cuddle and will once-in-a-blue-moon wind up snuggled next to me in bed in the middle of the night.  When I ask him the next morning why he got in my bed, the answer is sometimes ‘I just needed some more cuddles Mama’  I am happy to accommodate that request any time.

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